Comments on: Women scare me… http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/02/12/women-scare-me/ Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:14:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sheila http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/02/12/women-scare-me/comment-page-1/#comment-4910 Sheila Wed, 29 Apr 2009 06:12:50 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2770#comment-4910 Oh my god, i feel the same way too around women and especially the ones that i find attractive! When i'm in a woman's presence i feel like i'm being watched and i feel stuck! really! i hate it, especially when i'm at work and trying to concentrate on a task (i work in a restaurant) so imagine me trying to do something and there's only like one table occupied by a woman and it's all quiet, i feel the tension like i have to look or say something to her. Then in my mind i just literally want to f**** her lolz sorry for sounding so vulgar, but it's really quite a frustrating mind trip or something. it's the strange pull of women's beauty or energy or something? guess what i do then? act like i'm busy, half-a**ing whatever it is i'm doing cause my mind is stuck on them..arghh. they are the only ones who can really arouse weird emotions in me. this is my exp with why i'm scared of women!<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4910','Sheila'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4910','Sheila','Oh my god, i feel the same way too around women and especially the ones that i find attractive! When i\'m in a woman\'s presence i feel like i\'m being watched and i feel stuck! really! i hate it, especially when i\'m at work and trying to concentrate on a task (i work in a restaurant) so imagine me trying to do something and there\'s only like one table occupied by a woman and it\'s all quiet, i feel the tension like i have to look or say something to her. Then in my mind i just literally want to f**** her lolz sorry for sounding so vulgar, but it\'s really quite a frustrating mind trip or something. it\'s the strange pull of women\'s beauty or energy or something? guess what i do then? act like i\'m busy, half-a**ing whatever it is i\'m doing cause my mind is stuck on them..arghh. they are the only ones who can really arouse weird emotions in me. this is my exp with why i\'m scared of women!'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Oh my god, i feel the same way too around women and especially the ones that i find attractive! When i’m in a woman’s presence i feel like i’m being watched and i feel stuck! really! i hate it, especially when i’m at work and trying to concentrate on a task (i work in a restaurant) so imagine me trying to do something and there’s only like one table occupied by a woman and it’s all quiet, i feel the tension like i have to look or say something to her. Then in my mind i just literally want to f**** her lolz sorry for sounding so vulgar, but it’s really quite a frustrating mind trip or something. it’s the strange pull of women’s beauty or energy or something? guess what i do then? act like i’m busy, half-a**ing whatever it is i’m doing cause my mind is stuck on them..arghh. they are the only ones who can really arouse weird emotions in me. this is my exp with why i’m scared of women!
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]]> By: curliegirl http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/02/12/women-scare-me/comment-page-1/#comment-4553 curliegirl Thu, 26 Feb 2009 05:13:08 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2770#comment-4553 I understand your fear, completely, totally, utterly. The lack of clear-cut "what role do I play" is nerve-racking. However, I am attempting to look at it from a different perspective and see it as liberating and freeing instead... there is no role to play. You just play -yourself- and don't have to worry about if you are playing into the role that has been set up for you. See it as freeing instead of scary. Sometimes I feel as if I am being unfair b/c I expect more out of my relationships with women than I did with my relationships with men.. but it is because I know we are capable of more, and are up to the task of delivering our true selves to the relationship at hand. The vulnerability is scary, but it is real, authentic, genuine, and true. Learn how it feels to want from women, sit with it and become comfortable with it. See the unchartered territory as a new and exciting challenge instead of unknown and in need of fear. while I say this to you, I myself am hoping to believe this in time as well... best of luck.... ;)<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4553','curliegirl'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4553','curliegirl','I understand your fear, completely, totally, utterly. The lack of clear-cut \"what role do I play\" is nerve-racking. However, I am attempting to look at it from a different perspective and see it as liberating and freeing instead... there is no role to play. You just play -yourself- and don\'t have to worry about if you are playing into the role that has been set up for you. See it as freeing instead of scary. Sometimes I feel as if I am being unfair b\/c I expect more out of my relationships with women than I did with my relationships with men.. but it is because I know we are capable of more, and are up to the task of delivering our true selves to the relationship at hand. The vulnerability is scary, but it is real, authentic, genuine, and true. Learn how it feels to want from women, sit with it and become comfortable with it. See the unchartered territory as a new and exciting challenge instead of unknown and in need of fear. while I say this to you, I myself am hoping to believe this in time as well... best of luck.... ;)'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I understand your fear, completely, totally, utterly. The lack of clear-cut “what role do I play” is nerve-racking. However, I am attempting to look at it from a different perspective and see it as liberating and freeing instead… there is no role to play. You just play -yourself- and don’t have to worry about if you are playing into the role that has been set up for you. See it as freeing instead of scary. Sometimes I feel as if I am being unfair b/c I expect more out of my relationships with women than I did with my relationships with men.. but it is because I know we are capable of more, and are up to the task of delivering our true selves to the relationship at hand. The vulnerability is scary, but it is real, authentic, genuine, and true. Learn how it feels to want from women, sit with it and become comfortable with it. See the unchartered territory as a new and exciting challenge instead of unknown and in need of fear. while I say this to you, I myself am hoping to believe this in time as well… best of luck…. ;)
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]]> By: Diane http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/02/12/women-scare-me/comment-page-1/#comment-4489 Diane Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:52:03 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2770#comment-4489 I could have written this post myself. You didn't mention falling/being in love, even in writing about your objectives in having relationships with men, and I don't know why I get the sense that this is your real fear with women. I'm a big believer in sexual autonomy too, but you might be getting ahead of yourself (or maybe protecting yourself?) in wanting to have an open relationship with a woman before you even get the woman. Why not just be yourself? Introduce yourself confidently, and go into conversations with women with an open mind and heart. You really don't have to engage in the same kinds of relationships with women that you did with men. Or maybe you do, I don't know. Maybe it's scary because so much is at stake now--this is the real deal, the real test, something you may have been avoiding your whole life. But you'll get through it. Trust your instincts. Rejection is over in seconds and once you get the hang of it, it's a piece of cake. That's when the real fun starts!<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4489','Diane'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4489','Diane','I could have written this post myself. You didn\'t mention falling\/being in love, even in writing about your objectives in having relationships with men, and I don\'t know why I get the sense that this is your real fear with women. I\'m a big believer in sexual autonomy too, but you might be getting ahead of yourself (or maybe protecting yourself?) in wanting to have an open relationship with a woman before you even get the woman. Why not just be yourself? Introduce yourself confidently, and go into conversations with women with an open mind and heart. You really don\'t have to engage in the same kinds of relationships with women that you did with men. Or maybe you do, I don\'t know. Maybe it\'s scary because so much is at stake now--this is the real deal, the real test, something you may have been avoiding your whole life. But you\'ll get through it. Trust your instincts. Rejection is over in seconds and once you get the hang of it, it\'s a piece of cake. That\'s when the real fun starts!'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I could have written this post myself. You didn’t mention falling/being in love, even in writing about your objectives in having relationships with men, and I don’t know why I get the sense that this is your real fear with women. I’m a big believer in sexual autonomy too, but you might be getting ahead of yourself (or maybe protecting yourself?) in wanting to have an open relationship with a woman before you even get the woman. Why not just be yourself? Introduce yourself confidently, and go into conversations with women with an open mind and heart. You really don’t have to engage in the same kinds of relationships with women that you did with men. Or maybe you do, I don’t know. Maybe it’s scary because so much is at stake now–this is the real deal, the real test, something you may have been avoiding your whole life. But you’ll get through it. Trust your instincts. Rejection is over in seconds and once you get the hang of it, it’s a piece of cake. That’s when the real fun starts!
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]]> By: Dharma Kelleher http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/02/12/women-scare-me/comment-page-1/#comment-4488 Dharma Kelleher Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:11:09 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2770#comment-4488 It sounds like a combination of factors contributing to your anxiety. Fear of rejection. Fear of not knowing "the rules" or what your role "should be". I have heard it said, and I think its true, that when we as women don't trust other women or are afraid of women, it's because we are afraid of or don't trust ourselves. Learn to love and trust yourself, willing to make mistakes, and you will free yourself of fear. Remember that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Peace out, Dharma<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4488','Dharma Kelleher'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4488','Dharma Kelleher','It sounds like a combination of factors contributing to your anxiety. Fear of rejection. Fear of not knowing \"the rules\" or what your role \"should be\". I have heard it said, and I think its true, that when we as women don\'t trust other women or are afraid of women, it\'s because we are afraid of or don\'t trust ourselves. \r\n\r\nLearn to love and trust yourself, willing to make mistakes, and you will free yourself of fear. Remember that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. \r\n\r\nPeace out,\r\nDharma'); return false;">Quote</a></div> It sounds like a combination of factors contributing to your anxiety. Fear of rejection. Fear of not knowing “the rules” or what your role “should be”. I have heard it said, and I think its true, that when we as women don’t trust other women or are afraid of women, it’s because we are afraid of or don’t trust ourselves.

Learn to love and trust yourself, willing to make mistakes, and you will free yourself of fear. Remember that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.

Peace out,
Dharma

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