thelesbianlifestyle.com

It’s just my opinion, but I think the whole “gold star” status thing is nothing but an ego trip. (No offense, Kelly aka GSD). It’s meaningless and only furthers the destructive “us versus them” mindset.

Your worth has nothing to do with the genders of the people you’ve slept with. Your worth has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. The reality is that you have an intrinsic worth simply for being the beautiful human being you are and there is nothing you can do to diminish that. You are always worth loving.

Forget about the gold star status delusion and focus your energies into learning to love yourself. Neediness stems from the belief that you are not lovable. And neediness perpetuates itself by only attracting people who will treat you as if you were unlovable. Learn to love yourself, just as you are, and you will attract people who see you as lovable just as you are.

Dharma Kelleher´s last blog post..I Am Not A Boy

The wishful thinking of parents… my dad said to me, “you know, my sister thought she was a lesbian, but now she’s married to a man.” 1) As if it has anything to do with me. 2) Not mentioning his *other* sister who has *always* been a lesbian.

Phoenix, the way you write about your drunken BJ it sounds like you’re a nun who broke her vow of celibacy — except you set yourself up with a gender-specific vow. But is it really so dire? Listen to Dan Savage for many examples of lesbian-identified women who hook up with men occasionally.

Have you seen ther early 90s movie Go Fish? I loved the scene where a dyke is having a daydream/ nightmare about being the bride at a straight wedding. Says something like “I’m not waiting for a husband. But I can’t get rid of the feeling that there’s a husband out there somewhere waiting for me.”

I know it sounds trite, but get out there and start talking to, and dating, other lesbians and 1) you will get more validation as a dyke and 2) eventually you will meet someone who will really get your motor running. Good luck!

Oh, sweetie, you’ve gotta stop beating yourself up.

It’s a good thing that you can look at yourself objectively enough to see your own “neediness.” But it sounds to me like you could use a long, deep breath and a little perspective.

This isn’t the most popular viewpoint, but the simple fact is that even lesbians are sexual creatures. Sometimes that doesn’t fit into a pretty little box (no pun intended), but it doesn’t make it less true.

By all means, explore your emotional issues and try to embrace yourself in love and forgiveness as much as possible. But never forget that being lesbian doesn’t necessarily mean “only x, never y.” Sexuality can be just as fluid as our food preferences!

There is no pass/fail here, just a bunch of people all across the spectrum with their own baggage.

Jolie´s last blog post..Bah Humbug

Yeah, the goldstar dyke screen name actually started off as a bit of a joke back in the day. Then it stuck, and here I am with it. In my case I never went through the am I? am I not? Everyone is different and we all have our own battles to face. There is no status. There’s only what feels right. Follow your heart and be true to it.

Kelly (Gold Star Dyke)´s last blog post..choke on your rainbow flag, homo. do i go around saying i’m straight?

Not all women married to men are “straight”. You are an example of why many oppose open homosexuality. They want it to be hard for us to find each other and so end up with the opposite gender. You were “needy” sexually and/or just human nature to want affection. Your male friend probably enjoyed himself but you didn’t get much out of it sexually, but you seem more accepting of your sexuality now. I think it was worth the cost if you are now sure of your sexuality. At least it was with a friend. I’ve never had sexual intercourse with a man because I am not sexually attrated to any man. I can’t feel a male kiss so there is no reason to think I would suddenly change because a certain male part was inside me. But some do need to actually do more physically to be sure within themselves. Adults can sex who wants to sex us, so ease up on yourself.

Salty´s last blog post..Loving and Supportive Parents

This is not a failure on your part, not at all! You experimented on a whim, had a new experience, and learned from it (and luckily in a safe, consensual environment!). This makes you a BETTER person than you were before the hookup. I seriously doubt you “let the world get to you” or “wanted to try it out to be sure.” You were caught up in the moment, you both were drunk and horny, and it all sounds very human. I actually cant think of anything MORE lesbian than not liking blowjobs.

Your lesbian identity shouldnt hinge upon what sexual acts youve tried. Hell, you could have enjoyed the BJ and still be as lesbian as ever. I will admit it here, I have enjoyed sex with men! It doesnt change the fact that I’m gay. I consider my identity to be more concerned with WHY i do things rather than WHAT i do. Goldstar is an act, not an identity IMHO.

Wow… I seriously dont think you should worry about goldstar status… What does it really imply anyway???

You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself about giving a BJ… We all do silly things especially when we are drunk.

And as for your family, so many families do that, just be true to yourself and be honest with your feelings. Once you know that, they rest will fall into place.

Remember you are a beautiful, awesome girl… Go out there and date and find your miss right…