To Lie or Not to Lie That is the Question – do you really have to ask yourself?

Mar
2009

To Lie or Not to Lie That is the Question – do you really have to ask yourself?

When if ever is it ok to Lie? Never, Ever, Clever!!!

What is the definition of lying? Full out not telling the truth, garnishing the truth, or just not telling the truth by omission?

FULL OUT NOT TELLING THE TRUTH – Just making up shit, I think we can all agree that this is crappy. And that if someone is doing such things, it is possible to pose the question of their integrity and also sanity. Many mental illnesses manifest with pathological lying. Whatever the reasoning for the lying, it usually only perpetuates an already existing issue, and may work to sooth the liars anxiety momentarily. Inevitably, people that they are lying to are going to see either inconsistencies in their stories, or the stories are going to be too grandiose while the life of the pathological liar doesn’t seem to match up with what is being said. Example: Someone says “I was offered a job for 100,000 dollars with a free house and a company car” and then as time passes, for one reason or another, this AMAZING job falls through. Once this is found out, THE TRUST IS BROKEN.

GARNISHING THE TRUTH FOR ha, ha’s – I am not sure if this is lying, or just being a good storyteller. Where the fish gets a little bigger every time you talk about the fishing trip from 5 years ago. I guess with this is would depend if the fabrication is being used to entertain, or being used to impress/ procure financial gain. In the event of the entertaining fabrication I think it is safe to say, it is entertaining, like a stand up comedian spinning something that happened in their life, for the sake of a laugh from the crowd.

GARNISHING THE TRUTH FOR PERSONAL GAIN – if someone makes themselves look more like a saint than they really are, to gain a promotion. This might be more manipulation, rather than lying, all though it probably goes hand in hand. It just isn’t fair, I have felt manipulated before and it doesn’t feel good when all is said and done. This is very MANIPULATIVE, and Lying.

LYING BY OMISSION – Just simply not saying something out loud doesn’t make it not so. And I think that omitting the truth is yucky. It too is a form of manipulation, in that the omitter makes a conscious decision to not say something for purposes of manipulating. Some might be able to argue that depending on the omission intent (i.e.: I just didn’t tell them because it would hurt their feelings), it is excusable. With a one on one situation this might still be considered lying. But honestly I can’t see the positive in this, but I also don’t think it is always considered lying. Some people just don’t want to get involved, like when they see someone’s wife out at a bar frenching some hotty in the corner while her wife is in Florida soaking up the sun. This is omitting, if the opportunity to say something arises. But it does also just not want to get involved. Whatever the situation in this the results still hurt the person who was omitted from.

SHORT ANSWER LYING – When someone asks a question and the liar simply answers with a short lying answer of yes, or no. These folks tend to be horrible liars and want to run from the lie just told by shutting their mouth and not conversing anymore. STILL LYING (even though they walk away from the conversation)

IS IT OK TO LIE – FOR ME – No, do people do it no matter what the severity of lie, sure they do, but that doesn’t make it ok. The reason it is NOT ok, is not because someone might get caught, but that the repercussions of lying are not just felt by the liar alone. Trust is an important thing in human relationships, and once that trust is broken, by a lie it is the hardest thing to regain, so why even chance it! I have a tendency to think about others before I open my mouth to lie, do I think about it? Sure, who doesn’t, to get out of a ticket and things such as that, but I am a mess after the fact!

FOR OTHERS – I try not to judge on peoples reasoning for any behavior and it isn’t me they have to answer to. Unless of course it is me they are lying to, in which case I have a few choice words. So do as you will liars just not to me and mine!!!!

OK thats it I will get off my soap box about Liars

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Author: Lesbians4Lesbians.com
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3 Responses to To Lie or Not to Lie That is the Question – do you really have to ask yourself?

dear God…

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by mags on March 15th, 2009 at 3:06 PM

Wow I am glad you got up on that soap box because I just got done meeting a pathological liar and she was a total weirdo!! Check this out:
Sherry,
I was just thimking about you and wanted to share with you what I was thinking.

Im camping and im sitting infront of the fire on a blanket.Im looking beyond the fire at the ocean i close my eyes and lisen to the waves,I take time to smell the air I love the smell of the ocean.This night the ocean is so beautiful the moon is shinnig on it,and the only sounds you hear are the waves and the popping of the fire,as I take my eyes off the ocean I see you fixing the fire and you turn to me and tell me its such a beautiful night,and I say yes it is honey,You finley get done with the fireand you come and sit behinde me and i sit between your legs.I lay back in to your chest i lay my head up againts your cheek,then all in the sudden this over welming feeling comes over me,a feeling of joy a feeling of a safeness you have never felt before your body gets all warm but you have goose bumps.The feeling is so over welming I want to cry,I raise my head and look at you and I say I love you so much,with a tear in my eye,you take my face and say everything will be alright and you kiss me and your arms rap even tighter around me.

She sent me this after only talking for 8 days! The HUGEST mistake was telling her about the K D Lang concert and foolishly asking if she wanted to go. {SHE PAID FOR HER OWN TICKET}

OMG anyways she lied about her dad dying !!! He had died a year earlier and she made this up because of..? Well after the concert I should have just went to my room alone BUT mistakes were made and even stranger events happened. She downed 3 beers in less then 30 mins and then she rushed to get her PJs on and get into bed. I have to admit I have been lonely and single a while BUT I should have paid more attention to other RED flags like her continuing to smoke while she had told me she was quitting …BUT the event that was the most wild was her flying up out of bed after i asked her why her odor down there was so bad and I did it politely ..SHE started screming at me about how uncaring i was and she picked me and she could get anyone and I was like WTF I immediately told her to get the hell out of the room!

I was not going to be treated like that mentioning her problem with her odor PROVES I was caring and concerned. Anyways she left and went and told her friends I threw her out of the room cause she would “Not give it up’ LOL when she rushed to get into the bed..OMG I was so pissed she would actually lie about what really went on…

Then cause I am a nice woman I tried to apologize..but now i ask you ladies here at TLL what would you do if this wholde event happened to you? I tried to end talking to her after 3 days and she really poured it on oh our friendship is worth working on lalalala and to say that OMG she is a real nut case and where did I meet her embarrassed to say it CRAIGSLIST in Spokane never AGAIN one event like this and well no more CL for me…

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by nameSherry on April 26th, 2009 at 2:18 PM

@nameSherry – My Goodness, My goodness…… The caring part of me wants to say that there must be something going on in her life that has compelled her to lie, to seemingly get attention of for you to show her you truly cared. But then there is the protective side of me that says run for the hills……. At least until she can control herself….. So maybe a combination of the two of those things….. Be nice, but don’t allow her to get too close…..

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by Lesbians4Lesbians.com on September 8th, 2009 at 4:31 PM