thelesbianlifestyle.com

This has been the hardest contest I’ve ever had to judge. All of these posts were so funny! I had basically no criteria on which I selected winners, but I was really struggling to narrow my favorites down (nearly all were favorites). All of them were mortifying, some landed you in the ER and others were just painful. In the end, I chose a winner whose story was truly a situational comedy.

The winner is Ruth! I’ll be emailing you to get your information so I can send your Onye out. Enjoy your prize, and be good to yourself!

The winning entry!

“I spent a summer on a co-ed work project in a fairly conservative country that hand-screened baggage. So picture this: three months, no girlfriend, dorm-style housing five to a room, everyone able to hear you all the time because the walls and windows were so thin, squeaky beds, limited hot water and monitored showers, and no toys at all. It was amazingly frustrating, and I got pretty good at being sixteen years old again: (almost) completely silent, minimal movement, that whole shebang. And then, one day, I had the good fortune to be between roommates: sharing my room with just one other chick, who was off in town that day shopping, and it was my day off, and I was pretty much masturbating as soon as I woke up. And I didn’t even have to be all that quiet or completely motionless! Awesome!

Except, that lump of blankets on the other bunk bed? Not so much a lump of blankets. It turned out that we’d gotten a new roommate at 3 am: an older conservative woman who disapproved of masturbation. And who I woke up after her long night of travel. Because my bed was squeaking and my hand was down my shorts.

And then we lived together for two more months.

WHOOPS.”

Classic. To everyone who didn’t win this time around, I really enjoyed all your entries and want each of you to know that if I could, I would have had you all win. Those were some amazing stories. Also, keep your eyes peeled for more contests in the coming months!

And I’d like to thank Big Teaze Toys again for sponsoring this contest! It’s been such fun! Maybe we could do it again soon?