thelesbianlifestyle.com

Today I stand here, looking back at the past 10-11 months of my life.

I have learnt to trust, believe, love and most of all feel pain. I trusted you, to always be there for me, to protect my deepest and intimate thoughts. Yet I realize all I was to you was someone to pass your time. You have claimed to love me with everything in you and no one will ever love me like you do. Well today I really hope no one ever loves me the way you do, because your love has been everything I don’t deserve. I continued to believe in you, even though everyone else told me to stop wasting my time. You will never leave him, but I told them you will, I had that belief in you. You have lied to him so much and he has lied to you, yet you both stay in a relationship that is a LIE!!! How can you sell yourself short like that? Or maybe I was just a game to the both of you, let see how far she would go for you? If you have learnt anything, I would have given up my life for you. My wish was for you to find true happiness and peace within yourself. I am not here to save you; all I can do is show you the doors to a happier life. If you KNEW you NEVER going to leave him, you should have told me and I wouldn’t have WASTED 10 months of my life running after you just to be hurt over and over again. You know what none of this is your fault; I was the idiot that kept on running after you because I LOVED YOU and I BELIEVED IN YOU! Yes you ended things a few times but when I told you otherwise you let me convince you. Why punish me like this? Did I deserve this pain you put me through? The saddest part about all this is, you knew how I was hurt before. You knew what I went through. But you know what, that was a piece of cake compared to what you put me through. She told me from the beginning she didn’t want a relationship. You told me a few times you going to leave him and find your own place. You lied yet again. Someone that claims to be honest lies SO MUCH!!!

He has done every bad thing possible to you and you still chose to be with him. That is fine by me, maybe that makes you happy. Don’t complain the next time he hurts you. You are the one that chose to stay there. When I was there offering love, care, support and brought out the best in you, obviously that wasn’t enough for you. Thank you for making me your DOORMAT. Whenever you needed someone to support you or when you needed something, then you called me. Otherwise I was a distant thought, yet my every waking thought was of you. I have been such a fool, how could I think you would give it all up for me? Your sister and every other person was right, you CAN’T HELP YOURSELF!!! We are all pawns in your game of chess. I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet for believing you, and believing in you. Thinking you would actually want to be happy and be in an honest relationship. Yet you chose to stay in an abusive 1 so that the whole world feels sorry for you.

I am sorry, I can’t be the third party anymore, I have waited and loved and cared for you and all I got in return was pain. Yes you showed me love for brief moments, but I want to be someone’s number 1 person, be their everything. The person he/she can’t live without. If I die tomorrow, how would it affect you? You will cry for a moment or a bit… and then move along with your life. If you died, I would feel like my whole world and more fell apart. Probably something I would NEVER be able to get over. Please don’t think in your mind that I am wrong, because it is the truth. The fact of the matter if I don’t contact you, you will NEVER know if I am breath or not. It is so sad that you were the person that made me believe in love and people again, and now you have been no better but to show me that being with you was truly a NIGHTMARE from the start. The NIGHTMARE you hoped you wasn’t.

I pray and hope you learn to be honest with yourself and the people that care about you the most. I pray you find happiness and peace within yourself because you deserve nothing less. You are and can be a beautiful person inside and out. Know that apart of me will always be with you, no matter how much I try, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!

Seems like you need to read this email….

~Annonymous BEGIN:

I’m sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I’m sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I’m sorry That my body’s not ripped enough to “satisfy” your wants

I’m sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I’m sorry That I’m not cute enough to be “your guy”

I’m sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I’m sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I’m sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I’m sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I’m sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I’m sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when not needed.

I’m sorry If I don’t answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I’m sorry that you can’t realize.. I’ve been the one all along. I’m sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don’t care But most of all

I’m sorry For not being sorry anymore I’m sorry That you can’t accept me for who I am

I’m sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I’m sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for…

I’m sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I’m Sorry That I cared I’m sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.