2009
TLL Adult Review: Earth Angel
Earth Angel, Earth Angel, the one I adore
Love you forever and ever more
I’m just a fool, a fool in love with you…
Yeah, I went there. I had to. You can’t blame me, this vibrator is called Earth Angel! This is a 7″ x 1-1/3” classic slimline style vibrator with three speeds in plain white body-safe hard plastic with no bells or whistles. No g-spot curve, no nubs, it’s not shaped like a dolphin, and it’s not pink. So why do you need one? Ladies and Gentledykes, the Earth Angel charges with a hand-crank.
The Earth Angel, exclusive to Babeland, is an 100% “green” sex toy. When they say green, they mean green. The Earth Angel recharges by winding a hand-crank on the base, will never need replacement batteries, is made of recyclable parts and plastic, and even the packaging is made from 100% recyclable plastic. Additionally, they use a courier to transport their wholesale orders that use electric and hybrid trucks in the UK, China and Australia. No hybrid shippers in the US yet, but it’s a darn good start. You can buy a charger to plug into the wall or USB if you’re a lazy wastrel, but this defeats the whole idea of the toy, so please don’t do that. I also want to mention this is Ireland’s first sex toy ever, and so I’d like to tip my hat to all you wonderful people at Caden Enterprises in Dublin, Ireland and invite you over to my place for a couple fingers of whiskey, and then maybe some cranking to recharge our batteries, if you get what I’m saying.
If you think this is not a vibrator you’d get use from because of its lack of curves and shiny things, please read and consider the following scenarios.
Scenario #1
You’re packing the car so you and your gal can head to the woods for a week and of fun roughing it, sleeping in a tent, eating hot dogs, and swimming in lakes. It’s WAY too long to not masturbate or have sex for the whole trip, and you like using a toy. It’s a ways down a dirt road to the nearest store to buy more batteries for your classic battery operated vibe, and it’s now midnight, owls are softly hooting, bullfrogs in the lake croak to each other lazily as you’re trying to… you know. Your batteries die suddenly. Who you gonna call? Earth Angel!
Scenario #2
You’re traveling abroad for business for the next two weeks. You’re flying, packing your suitcase, and trying to figure out a discreet, rather tame looking vibrator to take along. Battery operated? Then you’ll be buying batteries in Spain every three days. AC adapter? Do you have one compatible for all the countries you’ll be in? Sure, you can order them, but what a hassle. Enter, Earth Angel! No one is going to mistake this for a lipstick, but it’s plastic and shouldn’t set off the metal detectors, and if you put it in your checked luggage, no one will know you have it. When you arrive just can crank it for four or eight minutes and get to work – no batteries or adapters. A BONUS! If the plane goes down due to some magnetic anomaly and you find yourself on a time-traveling island in the middle of nowhere, amidst dozens of people eeking the last of the battery power out of their iPods and CD players, you’ll be the Goddess of the Island with a vibrator that never dies. Think about it. This is the ultimate Desert Island Vibrator. (Just pop it in a ziplock bag before you put it in your suitcase to ensure it doesn’t get wet during the plane crash, because it’s not waterproof.)
My only real criticisms of the Earth Angel are these. I wish it were 100% waterproof, which could probably easily be done, especially if the jack for the optional AC adapter was gotten rid of. That would increase the usability tenfold. I also wish it were stronger and/or had more settings. As it is, the center button turns the toy on and off, the right one increases it from setting one to two and three, the left button decreases the settings. I’m not a fan of pattern modes, but I would welcome more intense vibrations with open arms and other open things. This is not the strongest vibrator ever. In fact, it’s not terribly strong at all, though I think the vibrations are “high” pitched rather than “low” and rumbly, so this might be my problem. I find myself a little on the frustrated side trying to get off unless I’m crazy aroused. However, if I’m not overly focused on the end result and just enjoy the ride, this is a nice way to get there. I don’t have any slimline vibrators like this, the simple straight design in hard plastic, so I tried it out vaginally and against my clit, and then tried letting it press lengthwise between my labia so that the length of it nestled there, which is how I like it best. I also wish they’d come out with other styles, like one with a g-spot curve. The manufacturer’s site says that they plan to continue designing new green toys, so guys! Please make the next one waterproof, with a g-spot curve, and give it more power!
The final verdict is that this one’s a keeper. This would make a very excellent first vibrator. Why? Because (most) people who are new to the scene are going to get off on pretty much anything that buzzes and some things that don’t (I know, I’ve been there, so don’t lie). If you’ve never had a vibrator before, you’re just going to go buy a plastic slimline vibrator anyway, spend the next four months shelling out for AA batteries, then it’s going to bite the dust and you’re going to be sad. Buy the Earth Angel instead and when you pull it out from its hiding place and it’s dead from overuse, just wind the hand-crank up and get back to work unwinding your own hand-crank… if you know what I mean.
Head on over to Babeland and get your own Earth Angel, and while you’re there, pick up a lube to go along with it. With the Earth Angel, you can use waterbased or silicone, but I recommend silicone based Pink Lube, which is glycerin free and formulated especially for women. It’s slick, long-lasting and feels natural, and there’s a cap to keep the handy pump top from leaking. It’s one of the very best I’ve ever tried, and the bottle it comes in looks like a perfume so no one will be the wiser if you leave it sitting out. If you’re a die-hard waterbased fan, I love BabeLube, which is Babeland‘s own brand of waterbased lube. It’s thick, long-lasting (really!) and glycerin free. Go get cranking!
