Aug
2009
21

“Dyke Bitch” Being Hated on, On a Friday Morning!!!

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It was a bright Friday morning, my partner and I were driving to work. When she stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind her was upset that he couldn’t run a red light and get to work a millisecond earlier than he would now get to work. He was yelling and screaming and shooting us the bird the entire red light (about 2 minutes). Our way of dealing with crazy drivers like that is to smile and wave, and say “have a nice day”. This usually pisses them off more than joining in on the excessive unwarranted angry behavior.

So the light turns green, and we drive threw turning left. He follows us, mere inches from our rear bumper. My Partner slams on the breaks and he has to swerve to avoid hitting our truck (which has a gay rainbow sticker on the back). The first chance he gets he pulls up next to us, and starts screaming at my partner, at this point he can’t see me. He proceeds to tell her “I am going to fucking kill you” “I will cut your fucking car in half”. I lean forward and he instantly recognizes some word usage that he could throw my way. He screams “Fucking dyke bitch” and speed off.

When I get called a dyke simply because of how I look (like a dyke) I see nothing but red. He cut us off at the next light and the red bull can that I had in my hand (only half full) was tossed at his car and landed on the hood with a lob throw and splashed all over his car (a perfect throw I can attribute to playing softball since I was 2 years old). At this point he stops at a green light and gets out of his car, and I promptly followed by getting out of the truck. He says “ oh you’re going to fucking throw a can at my car” I said “Yes I am, you want to call me a fucking dyke bitch that is what you fucking get” He replies with “I can see I was right” to which I become even more enraged and I say, “Yeah your fucking right, and this dyke bitch is going to kick your ass” as I took 3 big steps towards his car. My partner laid on the horn and didn’t stop to draw attention to the situation. He promptly got into his car and speed threw the now red light to get away from a situation that if the police had arrived would have been considered a Hate Crime via verbal assault……

Hate crimes (also known as bias-motivated crimes) occur when a perpetrator targets a victim because of his or her perceived membership in a certain social group, usually defined by racial group, religion, sexual orientation, disability, ethnicity, nationality, age, gender, gender identity, or political affiliation.

“Hate crime” generally refers to criminal acts which are seen to have been motivated by hatred of one or more of the listed conditions. Incidents may involve physical assault, damage to property, bullying, harassment, verbal abuse or insults, or offensive graffiti or letters.

Is this incident a hate crime? Would he have been arrested if the police showed up? In my eyes it is, seeing the rainbow flag on the back of our truck enraged him. But My partner doesn’t look like a lesbian, so the slurs did not come out of his mouth until he laid eyes on me. And it escaladed even faster once he did see me. Could I have been charged with a crime? Probably? But one thing is for sure (hopefully) he will think twice next time before he calls someone a dyke in such a way again.

I always feel bad when this sort of instances are over. I think “I shouldn’t have been so aggressive, I should have handled things differently” and then my partner reminds me that without outbursts, and defiance against such hateful behavior people who insist on using such words like dyke as a weapon will not learn that it is a weapon, and there are repercussions for such behavior, weather it being charged with a hate crime or having a Dyke Bitch almost loose her mind on you. I can only hope that for every occurrences I have that it will prevent 1,000 more from happening.


related post

it takes guts to be lez we fight with ourselves most of the times when we discover ourselvrs or the time we comeout i believe the last thing we need is to fight with idiots but that 2 happens. keep your head held high your story is inspirational am still young and all this scares me the hate crimes and all. yaeh it gets hard at times but i love my girl and if i have to die coz of that so be it

by name mscaramel on August 22nd, 2009 at 3:07 AM

How do you know the crime was fueled by your being a lesbian? The guy is clearly an ass wipe so it could have very well just been that.
The dyke insult could have just been the icing on a =n awful cake.

And with all due respect, what does it say about your self esteem that you would get so worked up about being called a dyke by some random jerk?

by duck on August 23rd, 2009 at 10:51 PM

Are you really saying that just a generic insult is enough to be a crime? Are we going to create laws now so people don’t get their feelings hurt on a mere insult? Hell, I know lesbians who don’t even mind the word dyke all that much, if at all, some even use it like it’s nothing.

Also, let us say that he did do this simply because you were a lesbian. The guy is ignorant and if this means a lot to you, wouldn’t it be better to be nice to him? I know, the guy is a total a-hole, but if he really does dislike you over something as silly as that, then acting like this won’t exactly better his opinion of things.

by duck on August 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 PM

Girl, all I know is that I’m glad I don’t know you and we don’t hang out together.

We’d get in a LOT of trouble.

Glad no violence resulted from it though.

by Tina-cious.com on August 24th, 2009 at 1:55 PM

i hear you. i hope, though, that you won’t let idiots like this push you into physical displays of anger. please don’t throw any punches, cans or anything else, because that could have been considered assault (despite his inflammatory remarks) and may have caused him to lose control of his idiotmobile, and someone might have been injured, not necessarily him. i know what it’s like to be young and passionate and to have lived so long with people who have little compassion or common sense. but i also know that the person who is victimized is often scrutinized far more carefully than the jerk who is the first to act out, and punished more severely, too. just sayin’. take care!

by diane on August 24th, 2009 at 5:27 PM

If you really want to stop them from doing it again and not give them an excuse to keep hating, call 911 at the first sign. Holds more weight and you keep your grace… And yes, the guy is an idiot…

by Anyone on August 29th, 2009 at 7:17 AM

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