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Approved… sort of. Say hello to the Jack Rabbit. I thought I was above rabbits. I tried one and blithely told you I didn’t much care for it. My first one sits on a shelf, gathering dust. I was thinking of putting it back in its box and somehow getting rid of it. Then the Jack Rabbit arrived from SexToys. I asked for it, even though it is not phthalates free, because now that I’m working at an adult toy store I see this thing every day at work. I see a lot of rabbits, actually. The Jack Rabbit is pretty basic, and while it doesn’t have the most features, it is the shiniest one we have. It’s bright freaking pink. And I know from playing with the tester that many rabbits, after some use, burn out inside and stop being shiny but the Jack Rabbit just stays this holy mother of pink shiny forever (until your coworker knocks it on the floor, which is another story).

So, like I said, I thought I was above rabbits. I try all these other things, I had tried a rabbit, I thought it wasn’t for me, that my anatomy just doesn’t like them, enough said. I was wrong. Actually, I think I was using the rabbit incorrectly for me. I stupidly thought, that because there’s a clit part, you need to turn the toy on, get it in and positioned, and then just wait while it gyrates and vibrates. I was wrong! I was testing this (with a condom, because it has phthalates) and noticed, almost by accident, that thrusting with it is awesome.

Many things to note up front. It’s not phthalate free. Meaning, the material is not stable and will degrade. Also meaning, it’s made of potentially carcinogenic materials. Therefore, if you buy this, watch the surface. When it stops being shiny and goes to slightly matte – after a few months to a year – throw it away! It is no longer even remotely safe to use. This may deter you from purchasing one for yourself, because buying a semi-expensive toy that may soon be unusable isn’t fun. You may prefer to take your money and put it towards something way nicer. Go for it.

Condoms only cover the shaft, not the rabbit, so unfortunately my clit said hi to the phthalate bunny. But, I went into the game aware of the material. I know it has phthalates, and made that choice. It’s not a choice I’m going to make often (no, actually I’m going to re-try my other, 100% silicone rabbit and see if we can be friends). The truth of the matter here for me is that it contains phthalates, I’m not comfortable putting that in my vagina, and so I won’t be using this rabbit after this review is complete. Some people use jelly toys without issue, and even prefer them. I’m not that person. If you are, you may love this rabbit. While I am not the kind of person that can comfortably and happily use a phthalate toy, I am not automatically failing this toy. It’s a jelly rabbit with phthalates. The box should, by rights, however, say it does contain phthalates because other toys say explicitly they do not. For this, I will deduct points.

So, why did I ask to review it? I needed to sate my curiousity on this one, and I wanted to inform the public about a popular style of vibrator and the materials that go into making it. There are MANY rabbits that, while are made of soft “jelly” materials, are also phthalate free. I know, I’ve read the boxes, and I steer people to them. Now, these phthalate free jelly rabbits may still be unstable materials, and I sense this may be so because many of them stink to the high heavens, but they’re phthalate free. Here’s a rule I follow regarding sex toys. If it stinks, put it down. If a toy smells, that means it is leaching chemicals. Here is a rabbit style vibrator made of silicone that does the same kind of motions this rabbit does. I haven’t tried this one, but being silicone, you know it’s going to be safe. Whatever you choose, read the labels, and know what you’re buying. If you like jelly, go for it, but know that some jelly toys have phthalates and that may pose a health risk. If you choose to pass on it, look for a similar rabbits without phthalates.

Let’s rank it. Starting at 10. Minus one for phthalates. The box doesn’t let you know that the toy contains phthalates, simply lets the consumer bumble into that minefield uninformed, so minus two, very uncool. Minus one for jelly (in my opinion). If you clench around the shaft, you stop the gyration. Yes, the vagina can stop the toy from moving. Kind of not cool, in my opinion. Minus one. So, this ends up with a 5. It’s technically a fail, but with  bell curve for its shininess it would be barely passable. Sort of like a bad high school English essay. But it got me off. Like those entertaining failtastic English essays you wrote when you really didn’t have the know-how to rock the essay academically. What it lacks in quality it makes up for in… novelty? Because that’s what this is, folks. It’s a novelty product, not technically designed for your vagina (as most novelties clearly state on the package) however, ironically, the company (Cali Exotics) is run by women designing toys for women. Go figure. I’m leaving this with the “approved” banner, because I like it, even if it has its faults. So sue me. If this isn’t your bag, baby, check out SexToy.com for something that is!

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