TLL Adult Review: Bottle Rocket

Sep
2009

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tll-rejected I’d like to thank SexToys and Evolved Novelties for the opportunity to review one of their really seriously adorable Bottle Rockets. They just won an AVN “O” Award for the Bottle Rockets and their innovative packaging. I chose the White Nova Bottle Rocket that looks like a unicorn horn. Going with the rocket / space theme the others have names like Apollo, Orion and Saturn. I love the whole idea of this. It’s sort of like the pocket rocket idea which has been a sex toy staple for so long, but which is not intuitively designed, takes one AA battery but has only one speed that is not strong enough for everyone.

The Bottle Rocket comes packaged in a plastic bottle that opens on the bottom. The vibrator itself is cute, white, and swirly. I was really surprised at how small it was. I was expecting something bigger, I don’t know why, but it really is comparable in size to pocket rockets. Maybe I should read size descriptions. Unfortunately, and completely unrelated to its size, the Bottle Rocket wasn’t strong enough to get me off in any way shape or form. It just wasn’t. Am I getting jaded? I like to pride myself on being the MacGyver of Masturbation, able to get off even on a desert island with just the items in my pockets, but this vibrator is not going to do it. So unfortunately in this instance, the similarity to the old favorite pocket rocket is not too far off. While this toy is adorable as heck, it’s obviously sacrificed power for cute and with only one speed this is, for me, a no hit wonder. I hope Evolved Novelties keeps this idea but swaps the motor for a better one.

What did do it, three times in a row, was a tiny little bullet vibrator that Evolved Novelties tossed in with the Bottle Rocket as a “freebie”. This is the Armor Piercing Waterproof Speeding Bullet, and it’s not available on SexToys, yet. I’m hoping that’ll change soon. It takes three button cell batteries and is funny shaped, and initially I was like, “Nah, that thing’s silly, we sell something like it at the store for $5, I won’t like it.” I was wrong! It has five functions. Low, high, steady pulse, faster steady pulse, and a short-fast-short morse code kind of pulse. Low felt high compared to the Bottle Rocket, in my opinion. I think it’s the combination of the powerful motor and the small size that makes it feel more focused. It has a pointed tip to focus vibrations, whereas it feels like the Bottle Rocket’s larger (than the bullet) size allows vibrations to spread over the surface of the toy. It’s got a very sturdy “on, off, switch settings” push button.

My advice and opinion? As a first vibrator the White Nova Bottle Rocket, or any of the other varieties, could make a good first vibrator if you haven’t already been spoiled rotten by more powerful vibrators. I say could because I’ve never met your clit. It might be fine. It might not. The package it comes in is really adorable, but I didn’t find the vibrator powerful enough to write home about and it didn’t bring me to orgasm. If you’re looking for something smaller and ten times more awesome, find yourself a Speeding Bullet somehow!