2009
TLL Adult Review: Stealth Vibrating Pen
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Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to achieve orgasm. Your supplies? A Vibrating Faux Pen. It’s a good idea. We certainly need more discreet, Jane Bond-esque objects one can use to masturbate with while on a secret diamond mission in Korea. The sad truth here, though, is that Jane Bond would return this vibrating pen to Q and laugh in his face. Either that, or Bond, Jane Bond would use it and then use it to detonate something and then destroy it and make Q really angry that she’s always destroying his gear. Why would this happen, you ask? Because this thing doesn’t pack a whole lot of punch. A vibrator can look like a house key but if it doesn’t get you off, then who cares?
This hits my list as one of the very few toys I couldn’t get off with at all. The vibrations are comparatively weak, the vibrating tip is not as blunt as I like (it’s very tapered, almost pointy, like a pen) and it hurts my clit. I just don’t like it, or rather, it doesn’t like me. What is cool, though, is that it turns on by clicking the top like a normal pen. It’s a great idea, and might be a good, discreet vibrator for a beginner who doesn’t need the power of a tiny grenade, but this Double-O is going to stick with bigger guns.
I’d like to thank SexToys – my own personal Q – for providing me with this stealth vibrating pen. Sorry, but it was in my Aston Martin when it exploded. It couldn’t be avoided. If you’d like to get a Vibrating Faux Pen for yourself, be my guest! If you’re looking for a whole set of discreetly vibrating spy gear, check out the vibrating cell phone, makeup brush, lipstick, hairbrush, necklace and compact.
Too bad! I love how it looks and how it clicks on. But alas…