2009
TLL Adult Review: Spareparts Harnesses
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Spareparts Hardware was kind enough to let me review their new harness, the Theo. Theo comes in black stretch nylon or rose pink poly-spandex. Theo is the most comfortable harness I’ve ever worn. It’s available in two sizes, Size A (20-50”) and Size B (35-65”), and I got size B as I am a larger gal and it fit awesomely well. For reference, I’m 5′5″ and wear a size 24-26 pants. When I first received this, I whipped it on and was done, that was it, it fit just the way I liked it. Higher in the back for stability, and low in the front with the base of the dildo resting against my pubic bone, pressed against the V-shaped area.
Features
- Velcro closure adjustable waist. I also own Spareparts Joque harness, and the velcro closure on the Theo works better for me. It’s a little stiffer and therefore easier to adjust and wear because the extra bit isn’t flopping around, but rather tucked neatly under the band.
- Snap extension for crotch piece. Theo comes with this little loop of snaps to use to extend the crotch piece so you can wear it higher (or to simply adjust for size). Simply unsnap all the crotch snaps, add the extender to the end and re-snap as you please. As it happens, I did not need/want this additional length in the crotch piece, but it’s good to know that if I need scads of extra crotch room, it’s at my fingertips. Any bit of the crotch piece that’s too long may be tucked into the back triangle, under the condom pocket.
- Flexible elastic O-ring. This eliminates the need for interchangeable solid O-rings. It also is more comfortable during use, as the metal isn’t jamming into you or your partner. It doesn’t dig into or gauge softer toys, or leave O-ring marks of any kind. This style of O-ring, and the design of the harness allows for use of regular flared base dildos as well as double dildos, like the Share. I always use Joque or now Theo when I’m using the Share. It just feels way more secure than flying solo with the Share and my kegals. The flexible O-ring is one of my favorite features.
- Condom Pocket. There’s a condom pocket! It’s always important to keep one on you if you’re going to be penetrating someone you’re not fluid bonded with (meaning, someone you are committed to and whom you share fluids with regularly after you have both been STD tested). Using a condom over your toys makes clean-up easier as well, and allows you to simply switch condoms between anal and vaginal penetration, rather than going to sterilize your toy mid-coitus.
What makes Theo shine?
It’s made with corrosion resistant brass snaps and features a stretchy, adjustable O-ring rather than metal O-rings. What makes this doubly awesome? Theo is able to be played with in the shower, hot tub, bath tub, or when swimming.
Please take care wearing a harness into chlorinated water, and be aware that the chemicals could damage your toys, as well. My thoughts drifted to the use of this harness for packing under swim trunks for trans guys. It would be utterly ideal.
I had to try this harness out in an aquatic environment, and decided to take a little alone time in the tub with myself and Theo. I hopped in the shower and turned the water on so that I could release the velcro and not alert people in the house that I was planning to be strange in the shower. I pulled Theo on, and with a few quick adjustments of the velcro closures (it always takes me 2-3 adjustments to get it snug enough) it was on and I took a quick shower with my Leo safely tucked in my Theo (they’re totally bff’s now, they even have rhymey names) and then plugged the drain and took a hot bath, lounging in the tub for a while. I moved about a fair bit, adjusting water temp, shaving my legs, changing directions, etc., and during none of my showering antics did the harness come loose or shift uncomfortably. At some point, the water stopped being hot so I stood up, rinsed off, and shut it off, at which point, my cock and harness were just exactly where I put them originally. Score.
Final thoughts?
This harness officially gets 10 points out of ten. Theo is AMAZING. It’s perfect. It doesn’t give me wedgies, it’s totally water proof, it can be washed in the washing machine (or the sink, and hung to dry) and can be adjusted to fit a wide range of bodies. What’s not to love?
Only this. I have this fantasy that has yet to happen for me and it goes like this: I would be wearing a harness and being fucked by someone else wearing a harness. If I were wearing Theo, it would be slightly problematic as the strap that goes between the legs goes right over the vagina and anus, much the way thong underpants do, but this harness is more substantial and pieces of it almost feel like scuba gear (sexy sexy scuba gear). Lets just say, it would be awkward to wear this and be fucked at the same time. For that, I suggest you try my second favorite harness, the Joque harness!
Bonus Review — Joque by Spareparts
The Joque harness is a two-strap style harness, if you’ve ever heard them referred to that way. All it means is that instead of one strap going between the legs, there are two and each strap is oriented beneath each buttock. It’s available in a bunch of colors, has velcro closures at the waist and a flexible elastic O-ring which means, like Theo, it is capable of handling average sized flare base dildos as well as double dildos like the Share. The Joque by Spareparts is many people’s favorite harness, and was my favorite up until a few days ago when I met Theo. The only thing that I struggled with with Joque was in getting it fitted snugly enough. It seems to me that no matter what I do, I feel certain that Joque will slide off. It never does, it just feels that way. The large band is somewhat more floppy on my Joque, which I purchased years ago before potential enhancements were made to the product, so another color in perhaps a different fabric could yield better results in field testing, or bed testing, or sofa testing… you get the idea.
I do not blame the harness for my adjustment issues. Er, my harness adjustment issues. I think my body shape and my mentality plays an incredibly huge role in this. When I purchased it initially it worked great and I loved the hell out of the Joque, but at that point in time I was just beginning to explore my identity, and was dressing and feeling very butch. I think the Joque style is potentially more butch-friendly because it has classic jock strap styling, while Theo is reminiscent of underwear.
Something to keep in mind, as the Joque lacks a strap between the cheeks, it leaves the wearer in a position that they can wear a cock and be receptive to penetration. For this reason, especially if you are into wearing cocks and being fucked, I highly highly recommend the Joque.
So, that’s it! While I do have limited experience with other harnesses, the Spareparts Joque has been called “favorite” and “best” by many many harness aficionados, and it’s my opinion that Theo is a step above Joque. High quality fabric with intuitive design for a wide range of bodies, the Spareparts harnesses are built to last for years of all terrain use. If you’re looking to step into the world of harness wearing and play, I suggest something from Spareparts.
Many women purchase a harness when they are in a relationship which is grand, but I purchased my first harness when I was single. Why? Because it wasn’t necessarily all about the couple sex. I was investing in my cock, something that was going to be a part of me, and I wanted that to be pure and separate from the influence of another person. At the same time, my choice of the Joque (or the Theo) allows a partner to step into the harness and use it as easily as the primary harness wearer/owner, due to the generous adjust-ability. Spareparts harnesses are perfect for helping you get in touch with your inner cock-wearer.
I wear a size 26 myself, and finding a harness that didn’t make me feel so frustrated that I didn’t want to bother anymore was impossible. I think I’m going to have to check this one out.