2009
TLL Adult Review: Original ToiBocks
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I have reviewed storage solutions for sex toys in the past, and the focus of those storage cases have been about travel. Zippered, clasped, locked, they all had storage handles and did their job, quietly toting toys to and fro. That’s good for some people some of the time, and certainly you can use a travel storage box at home, too. But what if your toys live at home and never (or very rarely) travel? I think the vast majority of people are in Group B; a couple of toys that stay home in a drawer hoping to stay hidden from kids, cats and mothers in law (or equivalent nosy family). What Group B people need isn’t a travel ready toy caddy, but rather a discreet box to live on the dresser so the toys can stop living in the sock drawer, or under the bed (eesh), or in a pillow. This is where the Original ToiBocks comes into play. What’s a ToiBocks? It’s simply the most sophisticated storage solution you’re going to find for sex toys and any number of other things you don’t want found by your kids or family. The possibilities are almost endless. What do you need to keep safe? Pocket money go missing with teens in the house? Does the maid find your vibrator when she cleans (God, I wish I had a maid!)? Kids come in your room all the time to grab laundry and you wanna keep them from finding your swanky vibrator? Do you take medications that you need to hide away because they could look like candy to your M&M crazed munchkins? Got lots of people trekking through your place for the holidays, thus increasing the chances they find out you like to stay home to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Toucha Toucha Touch Yourself? Well, read on, my strange friends.
The ToiBocks features a secret locking mechanism that I have been sworn to secrecy about. I assure you, it works easily and yet stumped my Mom when I showed her the ToiBocks. To my Mom’s great frustration, she couldn’t lift the tray at first because she didn’t know how to work the secret lock. There isn’t a switch or a button, but rather the ToiBocks comes with a secret magnetic key (which can be stored on the box discreetly or hidden for increased security) and instructions. I can tell you that much because it’s also mentioned over at the site. I told my mom the secret, and now she can open it. When you get one, don’t tell everyone excitedly how it works or you’re going to undermine your privacy. Also be careful, if you let your mother see it, she may, like my Mom, attempt to walk off with it. Mom hinted not so subtly that it would make a perfect gift for her sometime. I’m on it, Mom.
(Click the small images above to see these storage ideas larger!)
Use the Original ToiBocks as a jewelry box, as the top shelf has partitions for earrings, necklaces, etc. Work the secret lock and store cash, medication bottles, DVDs, sex toys, cigarettes, Dungeons and Dragons game pieces, and other things you don’t want people knowing about or finding. The secured inner storage area is 10 inches from left to right, 11 inches from corner to corner, 6 inches from front to back and 2.5 inches high. The outer dimensions are 11″ x 7″ x 6.25″. It comes in a rich dark cherry finish, as seen in the photos here. It would be a good addition to any room, but it’s gonna be the least conspicuous in your bedroom on your nightstand, dresser or bookcase.
Look at the picture above (click to enlarge.) All of these items fit in and allowed for the tray to be replaced. I shitteth thou not! I fit in a LELO Iris, LELO Gigi, LELO Mia, LELO Lily, Big Teaze Onye, Jimmyjane Little Chroma, Laya Spot, Smart Balls Teneo Uno and Duo, a SaSi, the XTreme Pack G-Spot Bullet, and two condoms. BAM, sir!
Now, come on a journey with me, if you will, and think back on all of the horrific mishaps you’ve heard about people and their sex toys. I even focused a contest on that theme. Perhaps something awful has happened to you. They certainly happen to others. Kids find vibrators and run around the house with them. Dogs find dildos and chew them to bits (people come into the porn shop complaining of this more often than I’m comfortable with). Roommates happen upon them. Your brother might see your dildo if he comes to rescue the cat from your room… see where I’m going here? Having sex toys is not a bad or shameful thing, but you don’t want them where people can get at them or you’re in for some really bad times. Is that worth a hundred dollars to prevent? Five times over.
I’m going to be getting one of these for my mom soon (even though we both know how to get into it). I cannot recommend enough that you get one for yourself, your partner, your mother, your best friend, anyone who could use to keep their things safe. They’re going to thank you for sparing them awkward, uncomfortable, or even dangerous moments of having important objects or medications found. And they’re going to love the Original ToiBocks, the only sex toy or personal item storage that holds a significant amount of stuff, is designed to lock discreetly, and doesn’t look out of place next to your milk glass lamp on the dresser or bedside table.
