Comments on: IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A TRUE BISEXUAL? http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/12/12/is-there-such-a-thing-as-a-true-bisexual/ Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:14:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sappho http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/12/12/is-there-such-a-thing-as-a-true-bisexual/comment-page-1/#comment-5753 Sappho Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:19:49 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=5198#comment-5753 I totally understand what you mean and used myself as someone whose sexuality has ebbed and flowed over the years. There are however those out there who claim to be "true bisexuals" and that was what the article was about. Of course people slide up and down the scale in small increments or do a swing shift like my friend, but she considers herself to have been gay all along and just not know it. I agree with the fluidity of sexuality to a point but not that one goes from a one to a six to a one in their lives. It is a very subtle shift that in my opinion that happens with age and maturity and becomes more static as we become more sure of ourselves and who we want.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5753','Sappho'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5753','Sappho','I totally understand what you mean and used myself as someone whose sexuality has ebbed and flowed over the years. There are however those out there who claim to be \"true bisexuals\" and that was what the article was about. Of course people slide up and down the scale in small increments or do a swing shift like my friend, but she considers herself to have been gay all along and just not know it. I agree with the fluidity of sexuality to a point but not that one goes from a one to a six to a one in their lives. It is a very subtle shift that in my opinion that happens with age and maturity and becomes more static as we become more sure of ourselves and who we want.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I totally understand what you mean and used myself as someone whose sexuality has ebbed and flowed over the years. There are however those out there who claim to be “true bisexuals” and that was what the article was about. Of course people slide up and down the scale in small increments or do a swing shift like my friend, but she considers herself to have been gay all along and just not know it. I agree with the fluidity of sexuality to a point but not that one goes from a one to a six to a one in their lives. It is a very subtle shift that in my opinion that happens with age and maturity and becomes more static as we become more sure of ourselves and who we want.
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]]> By: Edge http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/12/12/is-there-such-a-thing-as-a-true-bisexual/comment-page-1/#comment-5686 Edge Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:12:48 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=5198#comment-5686 I don't think of it has such a static thing. As if you sexuality clicks into a 3 or a 5. More like a range finder. And it changes like your friend who went back and tried men after a long term same sex relationship. Attracted to the man? Yeah, sure. But not permanently. As for myself, I thought I was hetero. Married for 10 yrs. Would have put myself at 1.5 if asked at the time. But after my divorce and years of feeling asexual, I fell for a woman. A lot of things fell into place for me, including finally getting why sex was such a big deal to people. The relationship didn't last but I know I'm not going back to men. I can still view them as sexually attractive, but Its more along the lines of viewing something in a museum-I can see the beauty in it, the attraction to it , but choose not to sleep with it. Does that make me bisexual, a 3? No. But I know I've passed through a three at some point on this journey. Now I'd put myself at about a 4.8 -5. Not sure how I'm splitting hairs there but it makes sense to me. And I'll keep moving forward incrementally as I go.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5686','Edge'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5686','Edge','I don\'t think of it has such a static thing. As if you sexuality clicks into a 3 or a 5. More like a range finder. And it changes like your friend who went back and tried men after a long term same sex relationship. Attracted to the man? Yeah, sure. But not permanently. As for myself, I thought I was hetero. Married for 10 yrs. Would have put myself at 1.5 if asked at the time. But after my divorce and years of feeling asexual, I fell for a woman. A lot of things fell into place for me, including finally getting why sex was such a big deal to people. The relationship didn\'t last but I know I\'m not going back to men. I can still view them as sexually attractive, but Its more along the lines of viewing something in a museum-I can see the beauty in it, the attraction to it , but choose not to sleep with it. Does that make me bisexual, a 3? No. But I know I\'ve passed through a three at some point on this journey. Now I\'d put myself at about a 4.8 -5. Not sure how I\'m splitting hairs there but it makes sense to me. And I\'ll keep moving forward incrementally as I go.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I don’t think of it has such a static thing. As if you sexuality clicks into a 3 or a 5. More like a range finder. And it changes like your friend who went back and tried men after a long term same sex relationship. Attracted to the man? Yeah, sure. But not permanently. As for myself, I thought I was hetero. Married for 10 yrs. Would have put myself at 1.5 if asked at the time. But after my divorce and years of feeling asexual, I fell for a woman. A lot of things fell into place for me, including finally getting why sex was such a big deal to people. The relationship didn’t last but I know I’m not going back to men. I can still view them as sexually attractive, but Its more along the lines of viewing something in a museum-I can see the beauty in it, the attraction to it , but choose not to sleep with it. Does that make me bisexual, a 3? No. But I know I’ve passed through a three at some point on this journey. Now I’d put myself at about a 4.8 -5. Not sure how I’m splitting hairs there but it makes sense to me. And I’ll keep moving forward incrementally as I go.
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]]> By: Tina http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/12/12/is-there-such-a-thing-as-a-true-bisexual/comment-page-1/#comment-5684 Tina Sun, 13 Dec 2009 08:17:15 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=5198#comment-5684 Sexual desire is complex and in my opinion depends on needs and emotions just as much as on physical attraction and pleasure. Some peopel my behave based on strictly physical desire, but I haven't seen or experienced this as a predominant way of starting various relationships. I don't think that bisexual desire has much to do with interchangeability of having sex with men and women. Rather, I understand bisexual feelings as enjoying relationships (personal, interactive, sexual) with both men and women. That does not mean same needs and wants are satisfied in the same way and level with a man compared to with a woman. So this whole argument about men and women being equally viewed by a "true bisexual" is full of oxymoronic assumptions and statements. I'm sure that if you asked a variety of bisexuals, one would get a variety of answers.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5684','Tina'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5684','Tina','Sexual desire is complex and in my opinion depends on needs and emotions just as much as on physical attraction and pleasure. Some peopel my behave based on strictly physical desire, but I haven\'t seen or experienced this as a predominant way of starting various relationships. \r\nI don\'t think that bisexual desire has much to do with interchangeability of having sex with men and women. Rather, I understand bisexual feelings as enjoying relationships (personal, interactive, sexual) with both men and women. That does not mean same needs and wants are satisfied in the same way and level with a man compared to with a woman. \r\nSo this whole argument about men and women being equally viewed by a \"true bisexual\" is full of oxymoronic assumptions and statements. I\'m sure that if you asked a variety of bisexuals, one would get a variety of answers.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Sexual desire is complex and in my opinion depends on needs and emotions just as much as on physical attraction and pleasure. Some peopel my behave based on strictly physical desire, but I haven’t seen or experienced this as a predominant way of starting various relationships.
I don’t think that bisexual desire has much to do with interchangeability of having sex with men and women. Rather, I understand bisexual feelings as enjoying relationships (personal, interactive, sexual) with both men and women. That does not mean same needs and wants are satisfied in the same way and level with a man compared to with a woman.
So this whole argument about men and women being equally viewed by a “true bisexual” is full of oxymoronic assumptions and statements. I’m sure that if you asked a variety of bisexuals, one would get a variety of answers.
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