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So we will see where this goes, I think it’s a crazy can’t believe this happened to me story and worth sharing…. At the time I thought I went through hell and back so to speak, and thought I should get something out of this besides a jaded opinion of gay women. ( So I’ll settle for the therapy they say you get when you write everything down) I was thinking maybe they can make a lifetime movie out of it, but I think she has to kill me or something so that’s a no go… I know for sure I am not the only one this craziness happens to but really who goes and airs their own dirty laundry and as embarrassing as it is I do believe it’s worth telling!
Disclosure: For all my Blogs on This topic… Not all lesbians are like this if I use term ” Lez Love” or “Lez Game” I am sure I will have even more generalizations tag lines throughout my blogs… but really they should not be taken personally… it’s just my way of expressing my feelings and thoughts at the time of events and I am for the most part just poking fun at this whole relationship experience I had w/ my ex so just try to enjoy it for what it is….
Title: R U Kidding Me?
I met (we’ll call her “D”) at work back in May 2007, I remember thinking when I met her “oh she must be the lesbian I was told about”…… I was curious yes but attracted to her no, not at 1st. I had crushes on other women at this point in life (they were all on TV) and she wasn’t one of them… this could have been because at the time I had a boyfriend of 2yrs. But in Sept. my boyfriend and I broke up and I found myself one day sitting in our Tuesday work meeting and looking over at her very tan sexy legs… and thinking wow she is cute… much older of a women if I was ever going to be w/ one but she is pretty cute. (She was 42 but looked pretty damn good) So that point forward I put myself in every situation possible so we could work together…. She had a Girlfriend, so I never did really go after her or even let her know of my fantasies of her. I started dating another guy for about a month (hating it deep inside) when all of this started… it was the end of Nov. her and her girlfriend of 7yrs had broke up and she was single and she wanted to confide in me… I guess she couldn’t deny our chemistry either at this point. So we started talking a bit.. On Dec.5 we decided to go out to a gay club on Capitol Hill (Seattle WA LGBT neighborhood)… over the years I was no stranger to these clubs but I wasn’t a member at the time either…. Anyhow we were hanging out drinking w/ friends and dancing our night away… Then she grabs me and kisses me… that was it that’s all that I wanted this was what made sense… I had been suppressing this desire for so long… and now I am in the moment that I had been waiting for and it was exhilarating!!! It was more then I had pictured in my head and was the “light bulb” moment “I am A Lesbian” Ok so it wasn’t that cut and dry at 1st and that’s a whole other blog… but really she had opened the closet door and I did not want to go back in. I was so sure of myself that I called my mom the next day and said I am gay… (She was not super happy at this point, again another blog) So from that day forward D and I had spent every day together, she spent of the time at my apartment because her GF was still moving out of their house….. (Red Flag “Yes” and so many more as you read this blog… I believe sometimes you go through stuff to make you a better stronger person and this was one of those situations) At this point it x-mas time and we are falling in “lesbian love” or “U-haul love” Unless you have been in this situation you won’t truly understand but let me try to help…. women think were falling in love after the 1st date for the most part if were dating men or women…. However if your dating a guy you hold in all your crazy thoughts and feelings for a while at least until you think it’s safe and he’s not going to bolt out the door…. when 2 women are dating well then you have 2 people with all of those “Gitty” “I love you” feelings and we feel like we’re on the same page right away, it’s the finally this must be “it” because we’re both feeling “it” and oh were in LOVE and truly it’s only been a Month… So the next logical step well why not move in together….. Why wait we know all we need to know about each other and the connection is undeniable….this all seems very logical at the time, trust me none of us would do it if we thought it was crazy right?
Anyhow were ‘in love” and I am shouting it from every roof top… and telling anyone who would listen. I even brought her home for x-mas to meet my family and at 1st being all very new it took a bit for them to warm up but after a day they thought she was amazing and they welcomed her back anytime, (they were duped as well).
D’s ex finally moved out in January…. A fresh New Year and it was just her and I… well silly me I thought it was just her and I….but the ex and later to find out “D” were not completely done they couldn’t seem to completely let each other go and say good bye… “D” had many excuses and reasons and only her and her ex knows exactly what happened and why. I can only piece together what happened on my end. So “D’s” excuses for talking to her ex on the phone every single day…many times a day for months 10 of them to be exact..the excuses were “my ex is having such a hard time” “we were together for 7 yrs so it’s very hard on her” “I just don’t want to hurt her anymore then I already have” “She has no one but me” Oh boy RED Flag City… But me being new to the girlfriend thing and dating a master manipulator…. I actually found myself feeling bad for this ex worrying about her feelings and finding myself asking if she was ok. Wow never had to worry about this when I use to date guys WTF I say to myself. Anyhow D’s Ex was what I would like to call the dark passenger. Serial killers use this term to describe the part of them that wants to kill and destroy people.(Ok so I have been watching a lot of Dexter lately) but really nothing fits better then to describe her ex then as the “dark passenger” in our relationship (who knew D was just as much a dark passenger as the ex was)… So far I have given you an Idea of where this is going…. and I am going to continue to blog about different events that took place in the very long 10 month relationship (I always refer to all my gay friends as is it in “lesbian years”… I like to poke fun I can’t help it but lesbian years for every month…. it’s like 6months… Kind of like dog years for every year it is like 7yrs.)

Guest Post Sent In From: Jessieca
Email: Jessiecaj@gmail.com
Website: http://jessiecaj.blogspot.com
Quote: If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, You have to find the courage to live it!