thelesbianlifestyle.com

Hot:

I’ve been reviewing for a year, and now I work in an adult shop, so I see a lot of the same stuff over and over again. You wouldn’t think dildos would get boring, but they kind of do. I don’t get that same feeling I used to when waiting for a dildo in the mail, or holding a new dildo in my hands. It’s just a dildo. It’s silicone (or it isn’t) and it’s shaped like a penis (or it isn’t). Yipee. Next, please. I know it’s hard to fathom for people who are not drowning in dildos, but it does happen. One dildo is awesome. Two is better. Four… twelve… twenty-seven? Somewhere along the way, the joy gets lost.

It was my quest for that old joyous dildo feeling that took me to Bad Dragon, the home of all things dragon and some things not. The products are silicone, whimsical and highly creative. Be aware, the product pages are decorated with some very graphic dragon art (just to warn you, it’s very NSFW, unless you have my job). Regardless of this, I do like unusual toys. The weirder the better. I like large dildos, and interestingly shaped dildos with cool textures. I quickly discovered that if you’re looking for big weird interesting dildos in shapes and colors galore, Bad Dragon delivers in spades.

Stuff that I’ve learned about Bad Dragon that I’d like to share with you

There are three firmness selections of silicone. Soft, medium, and hard. Allow me to break it down. The differences, that is.

• Soft: in most sizes, soft will not stand up on its own and will most likely make insertion difficult. They sent a sample “medallion” in soft and it was mega floppy. I wouldn’t order any toy in soft, but that’s my own preference.
• Medium: I reviewed the Tentacle in medium firmness which seemed appropriate for a tentacle that is, presumably, meant to be a bit floppy in nature. In the large size, it stands upright and there are no troubles with insertion. When you squeeze it there is a significant amount of give.
• Hard: I reviewed the Ridgeback in the hard firmness, and it’s still got more give than my Tantus Curve. Squeezing the Ridgeback there is still some give, whereas the more firm Tantus Curve does not have much/any give. So if you’re used to Tantus and like it, you’re definitely gonna want firm.

Some dildos are offered in split firmness. Only one is offered in a cored firmness.

• The Anthro Dragon toy is available in cored firmness, which means there is a hard core and soft exterior to give it a realistic feel. (Insert “hardcore” joke here.)
• The Ridgeback, Vergil, Desi, Razor, Dolphin, Naga, Water Horse, Seadragon, and the Adolescent all are available with split firmness, which means there is a firmer base than the body of the toy, which is supposed to add some stability. I, however, opted for straight up medium and straight up firm. Cause I’m straight up gangsta.

Some have an optional cumtube? Which ones?

• The Ridgeback (in Medium and Large sizes), Anthro Dragon (M/L only), Razor (M/L only, I think?), Desi the Orca (M/L only), Vergil (M/L only), Adolescent (one size fits all/no size option), Orkin (available in one size only, also), Varka (also one size only), Fusion (one size only), Seadragon (M/L only), Waterhorse (M/L only), Naga (M/L only).

Some are available with optional suction cups! Which ones?

• The Xenogon (all sizes), Vergil (all sizes), Adolescent (one size fits all/no size option), Varka (also one size only), Fusion (one size only), Breeder (all sizes), Seadragon (all sizes), Gryphon (all sizes), Tailstretcher (all sizes), Naga (all sizes).

What size should you get?

• I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest most people stick to small, mayyyyybe medium. In all situations, read the impressively precise sizing chart and get out a measuring tape to help you imagine these mammoth dildos.

Note: My eyes were bigger than my vagina when it came to both toys, really. Moreso with Ridgeback than the Tentacle. That’s not to say they were too big, they were just bigger than I imagined they would be. The Ridgeback was too long for me to rub my clit against the base while riding it (which was what I envisioned). It was at least two inches too long for that. And the girth? Technically just fine (in fact, technically just perfect) but definitely sizeable at a 2.5 inch diameter on the medium Ridgeback. Can’t picture that? Get a ruler. That’s the diameter. Yeah. These are big toys. More about that in a bit.

Are the colors lame?

• No! Bad Dragon’s products are offered in wonderful colors! Bright pink, citrus orange, forest green, white, black, red… there are so many more. And most toys allow you to choose a color combination. Some of their color combos can’t be guaranteed in the hard silicone, but I asked them to make an effort on the Ridgeback because there was a highlight combo I spotted in the forums that was a pretty red and black that had a great appearance of depth to it. The final result was very pretty. My Tentacle is green base fading to white tip. Both are strikingly detailed and vibrantly colored.

Note: I know they’re working on it, but I do wish they had a page on the main site with a picture of each color. As it is, there isn’t necessarily a swatch to show you what their citrus orange looks like, or to show you whether their fuchsia is hot pink or more of a deep rose. For that, you have to dig around in the forum. It’s definitely not convenient, but that and the FAQ section are under construction so keep an eye on them because in the future those features should be more user friendly.

Ridgeback, In-Depth (And Girth)

I ordered a size medium Ridgeback in firm silicone in mottled red and black. It also has a cum tube with lube delivering syringe. That means it has a hole down the center and a tube that attaches to the syringe which, when depressed, allows the toy to “cum.” Why did I choose this? All in the name of science, my friends. It was an option. How could I resist? I’ve got to say the idea is super cool and having it set to go with their cum lube (or my favorite lube) in the syringe makes using the large toy easier because it basically lubes itself! Just a little squeeze and it’s slick and ready.

I find the large base of the Ridgeback to be equally in the way as it is helpful. It’s a big, reasonably heavy toy and the base is cumbersome so it’s very difficult to pick it up and thrust it, so I just gave up, arranged things so it was sitting in front of me in a good spot and I just settled down right beside it and pulled the shaft back and moved forwards onto it. I didn’t ride it per se, because I didn’t want to have to hold myself up over it (it was too long to just ’sit’ on). This worked well and I quickly got myself situated well enough to do my thing. So while it is unwieldy, in it’s awkwardness it will sit solidly on a surface while you have your way with it, so you can definitely make it work out.

My overall feeling about the Ridgeback is that while I wonder if I would have liked the small, because then I could maybe rub my clit against the ridges on the base, I do like the girth on the medium. I really do. And the ridges on the shaft against the sensitive opening of the vagina is really quite pleasant. Add a touch of clitoral stimulation and it’s a good time. Best thing about it: the ridges. Worst thing about it: the pointy head. If you just sit right down on it, that pointy head is gonna slam your cervix. That’s something you should avoid.

THIS JUST IN (1/2/2010 edit): I’m reviewing a new product for Liberator (review coming as soon as I can think clearly again) which I happened to test with the Ridgeback on a whim this evening. The product is the Axis Hitachi, and I wedged the longer side of Ridgeback’s base under the part of the Axis where the Hitachi head is and rode it. In this case, having the medium sized Ridgeback was perfect because it made the shaft long enough to get at even while partly perched on the Axis. It’s hard to picture, I know. I’m going to try to do cartoony illustrations for the Axis review to clarify. Anyway, it was perhaps the single – okay, two greatest orgasms of my entire life. This was not wholly due to the Axis Hitachi; The Ridgeback definitely played a big role in the stupendousness of those orgasms. The main thing that I really noticed were the ridges on the shaft which were just exquisite. So in perhaps the single most unusual sex toy combo suggestion ever, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY recommend the medium sized Ridgeback, the Axis Hitachi, and the Hitachi magic wand. You can maybe manage it with any dildo and some creativity, but the Ridgeback was what made tonight’s orgasms possible.

Special notes on the cum tube apparatus. I tested this feature out because it was there and I was curious. I noted the usefulness above, however I did not previously detail my feelings about the cum tube. My least favorite part of sex when I was having sex with guys was the part involving cum. In fact, they hated me for loving condoms so much, and I loved condoms just because it kept the cum away from me. So I personally don’t wanna make my dildos re-enact what I have always desperately tried to avoid. Why? Because as soon as it happens, all I wanna do is awkwardly walk to the bathroom and clean up. This does not at all reflect on the quality of the toy. I chose this option because I was curious and will not hold my dislike of the feature against the dildo — if you, like me, don’t enjoy the whole jizz experience, just don’t get the cum tube option.

I don’t want to be a big downer on the cum tube because it’s pure personal preference, and while I assume many lesbians and queer women may share my feelings, there may be some people who just really enjoy the sensation for the sake of the sensation. If that’s something you like, or a fantasy of yours, go for it. Bad Dragon pulls the whole thing off well. From a purely objective standpoint, looking at the cumtube feature from the perspective of someone who is really into the whole thing, it’s a badass feature. You could warm the lube to make it feel more real (or just warmer and more comfortable). It’s a really cool innovation.

I do also have an objective criticism. The tube that sticks out of the base of the dildo is not removable. That’s kind of a drag, because it’s gonna be attached to it, whether you want it to cum or not. See my photos where the tube is wrapped around the base to keep it from lolling about.

The Tentacle, Choose Your Own Tagline

I ordered the largest Tentacle in medium-firm silicone, in a green to white fade. While I’d like to say I appreciate the tentacle purely for its highly detailed aesthetics, I’ll admit the whole tentacle fantasy thing is something of a curiosity of mine and the overall toy looked pretty appealing. Whatever, I’m not shy. Tentacles, mmm.

As I was ripping the box open, wondering about the Tentacle and what it could do, some things that I decided I needed to find out were as follows. Do the suckers suck? Is it a good vaginal toy? Can it swim? I tested all of these things and am saddened to report the suckers don’t suck, but it’s a pretty decent vaginal toy. Being medium firm there’s some give so it doesn’t have enough solidity to press firmly against the g-spot but I don’t think it would do that, even in firm, as the shape is not an ideal one for g-spot stimulation.

However, if you lay back, set the Tentacle down with the suckers facing your body and push the toy inside and move against it, the feeling of the suckers rubbing against the opening of the vagina is really cool. I seem to really like texturey sensation against the opening of my vagina in general, just based on things I’ve noticed in this review alone.

Being very tapered, I don’t end up feeling “full” like I did with the Ridgeback. A firm Tentacle might be a really good anal toy, perhaps in a smaller size so the tip and rapidly widening shaft is more manageable.

And by the way, the tentacle does swim.

Final Thoughts and More Learning Experiences with Monster Cocks

Oh, something else I learned about the Ridgeback is that with the cum tube in a toy, you need to flush the tube with water pretty much immediately after you use it, or else the lube can congeal inside making it really hard to clean later. So after the first use (I used both in one overzealous session) I took them down to the bathroom to clean them.

With them both perched on the sink, towering over the hand soap and toothbrush cup like silicone Godzillas, I couldn’t even begin to deal with figuring out how to clean them there. All three of us climbed in the tub where I proceeded to shoot hot water out of the Ridgeback like it was a freaking dragon cock squirt gun, and then I swam the Tentacle around the tub like it was the Loch Ness Monster. I felt disturbingly childish, and childishly disturbed. I’m not going to lie, it was awesome.

If you’re looking for something unusual, something textured in a way you can’t find in your usual run of the mill dildo, or if you have been searching for dragon dildos for your whole life and never knew where to turn, you’ll find what you’re looking for at Bad Dragon. Everyone I came in contact with was friendly, helpful and quick to respond. These guys work hard to make really gorgeous detailed toys. Check them out!

related post

• The Much Anticipated List of Giveaway Winners
• -2
• TLL Adult Review: Smartballs Teneo Uno and Duo
• TLL Adult Review: Axis Hitachi