TLL Adult Review: Hardwood Dildo by Hans

Jan
2010

TLL Adult Review: Hardwood Dildo by Hans

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Hans at Hardwood Dildos offered, when I inquired about a review, to make a custom piece for me. Initially, I didn’t want to be a pain, so I browsed his site. He’s got many very beautiful dildos in a wide array of intuitive designs, but as I browsed and took note of the ones I liked most, I got to thinking. What would happen if the curved one with the slanted ribs married the straight one with the big ball on the end? I’ll tell you what happened; the greatest dildo in the world. Hans is routinely open to doing custom work and is really pleasant to email and chat with. I described my idea to him and he thought it sounded like a good idea and actually sounded happier to do a custom dildo than to send me one he had in stock.

The finished product is beautiful, and Hans said he’s planning to make a few more like it to add to the shop and I hope he does because this design is AWESOME. My dildo is like 8 1/4″ long head to tail, with a curve and slanted ribs near the ball end, and the ball is 2.25″ in diameter. The length along the curve is about 10 1/2″ or so. I asked for this. I have (briefly) tried the pure wand and while the curved design with balls on either end was good, I never used and didn’t particularly care about the smaller ball. I also felt that an even bigger ball would make the pure wand better, so I was in serious anticipation of this dildo arriving.

When this dildo arrived, I was struck by a number of things. It’s gorgeous, not too shiny, and obviously well sealed and expertly sanded. There’s no way you could get a splinter from this dildo. It comes with a really lovely soft purple stretch velvet storage bag with a ribbon closure. I jumped right into bed to try it out, and after some brief warm up with my DangerVibe Mini, I jumped right into it. I didn’t warm up more with the narrow end – no. I’m all about the ball end, and it’s awesome. It’s just as awesome as I had imagined it would be. I had the best orgasm that I’ve had in a long long time. I’m not lying. It was a nice one that flowed into the next round without needing downtime between, and I love those. But that first one, I swear it lasted more than a solid minute. Deeply satisfying.

As Hans makes custom orders, and because all of the dildos on his site are a little bit different, if a 2.25 inch diameter ball doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, just poke through the pages and find something more to your liking. I love mine and wouldn’t change it, though. I also love the ribs and am surprised that I can notice and enjoy the ribs during use, and feel them rubbing along my inner labia. I don’t usually notice or care about textures on the shaft of dildos, so I’m quite pleasantly surprised.

Hans makes dildos in all kinds of shapes! Regular phallic shapes with flared bases that will stand up on a desk (or you could harness if you want), amorphous “club” shaped dildos, straight dildos with large balls, curved dildos with ribs, hockey stick shaped dildos, dildos with a ball in the center… more than I can even describe. They’re all a little bit different, and in this age of machine manufacture, I can’t begin to tell you how incredible I find this. More than that, if there’s something you’re looking for that he doesn’t make, chances are he’ll work with you and try and create it. I love that he is so willing to work with the consumer.

Definitely check out the site, and if you’re looking to get a custom wooden dildo, send Hans a quick email and get a conversation going about what you’re looking for. He’ll be happy to help and has a number of different kinds of wood in stock for custom work. I can’t say enough about this site, these dildos, and their skilled and friendly creator, Hans. This guy is passionate about the dildos he creates, and he creates beautiful, amazing, life changing objects. This is the only dildo I’ll reach for to rescue from a house fire, not just because it’s made of wood and would burn to dust, but because it gives me better orgasms than any dildo I’ve ever met. Thank you, Hans.