2010
So Disrespected
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I have to mention first of all that I have only been a lesbian for a short period of time now. I was married to a man for two years until I fell in love for the first time with my partner. I got a divorce and now we are happy and have been together for almost a year. Anyway, in the time I have been with a girl, I have been disrespected so many times. I didn’t realize how hard it was. I have never been “in the closet” so to speak, because I came out right away once I knew how I felt about my partner.
We went to a hotel and attempted to get a bed together and that was the first time we were disrespected. She has been out since she was 16 and we are now 24 and this has never happened to her, but the hotel refused us beds together. I was able to put that past us, but the next part is what inspired me to write about our experiences.
We were at a gay bar downtown and we were leaving to go to another gay bar. We were being followed by a man, who appeared to be heading to the same parking lot as us. Once he crossed in front of us, I thought nothing of it. When we sat in our car we started kissing, and I turned to look out my window and the man was a few cars away, touching himself innappropriately. My girlfriend shielded my eyes being the protective type and immediately called the police.
This was so disturbing. To add to the same weekend, we went to a nice dinner and the cook hit on me in front of my girlfriend. Now I understand maybe he did not know we were together so I told him we were. I was very blatent, yet he continued to say vulgar things and did not care. My girlfriend was so upset she got the manager and we left. After all of this, I told my brothers who I am very close to, and one of them laughed, and the other said “well sis, it is not acceptable to be gay”. I know I have not been out long and they may need a while to adjust still, but that hurt so bad. I just started sobbing after I hung up the phone. I am having a hard time finding people who care or see this story in the same way as my girlfriend and I do, so that is why I am telling our story. Thank you for listening.
The author of this guest post wishes to remain anonymous.
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Wow i’m not a lesbian, in fact i’m a man and i find your story deeply disturbing. I’m sorry that we live in a world were we are difined by our sexuality. It’s shocking, and to be refused a double bed room by a hotel, that’s just ridiculous. I truly hope things improve for you and wish you all the best.
Andrew