2010
Who Says Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend?
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Sorry Marilyn (and then Madonna) but I beg to differ. Diamonds can be nice, they’re pretty, they’re shiny, they’re expensive and if I have to play devil’s advocate I’m sure most would agree that Orgasms are a girl’s best friend.
That’s right, ladies, it’s almost Valentine’s Day. You’ve got under two weeks to come up with something clever, creative, meaningful, and still spontaneous to whip your woman into a frenzy of love and admiration. I tend to hate Valentine’s Day. While I am well aware that there was, in fact, a Saint Valentine I’m sure the clusterfuck of Hallmark vs Papyrus going on right about now isn’t what that saint had in mind. I could be wrong.
Like many special “days” I think it’s sort of a waste of time to throw money at another “made-up holiday” That said, I know that when you’re over-looked on Valentine’s Day, or you’re single it seems like the worse day on the calendar. It is with that in mind that I give you my humble suggestion for a Valentine’s Day present to give to your lady love or, if you are single, a gift to yourself.
Behold the Hitachi Magic Wand. It’s not for the faint of heart but for those of us who know what we want when we want it. I will fully admit that my first romp in the sheets with the Hitachi involved a lot of over the knickers play-which I would strongly advise if for some reason this is your first vibrator.
Now you may be saying to yourself, “Is she serious? She really thinks I should get my girlfriend a vibrator for Valentine’s Day!?” My answer is-Yes, I am very serious. What says “I love you” more than multiple orgasms?
I’m all for making dinner, getting crafty and giving a handmade card, flowers are nice (generic) and a romantic bubble bath or massage is always sensual but the gift of an orgasm? It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
You’ve got 13 Days, ladies. Think about it.
If you are without a special lady this Valentine’s Day don’t fret-the Hitachi works wonders as a present to yourself. I can’t think of any other way to spend my night alone on Valentine’s Day. In fact, before my present Hitachi (given as a present) I spent many solo Valentine’s Evenings with my generic Magic Wand. For those blissful moments of orgasm you’ll forget that you’re alone and ask yourself if you need a girlfriend at all. Sometimes you’ll erupt in tears of sadness after the orgasm subsides but that’s what your friends are for.
The way I see it, the Hitachi is the way to go this Valentine’s Day. Yes, start the evening with a homemade dinner for two (go easy on the pasta or beans) Ease into a dessert of chocolate drizzled fruits, relax on the couch with some champagne and some kisses and then when she least expects it, reach down under the couch and present her with the perfect gift. She may be a little embarassed, act shocked or surprised but she’ll love it. I don’t lie. It will work, trust me.
I own a little collection of my own but I always wanted one of these monsters. I promised myself to get one as soon as I move to my own place or when I get married (whichever comes first) hopefully in a year. One thing I can not disagree with is “orgasms are a girls best friend” !!! Yes Yes Yes