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Every silicone dildo company needs a generic penis-shaped dildo, but that doesnt mean I have to like it. I’m talking about the Vamp Marilyn. Marilyn is firm, slim, pretty, and without balls. On the site, one potential color combo is aqua and purple, which is gorgeous and what I had hoped mine might look like. Alas, my Marilyn is a swirled black and silver. There’s a small hole in the base sized for use with a bullet vibrator. It’s seven straight inches long by one and a half inches in girth. The length works well for me (with my belly), but I do find myself wishing for an upward curve to work with the g-spot, and to keep it angled upright when strapped on. For that, though, there’s Talula.

I thought Marilyn would be right up my alley, a basic that everyone needs, like a little black dress or Doc Martins. It turns out that while she’s plenty long enough, she’s not wide enough for my tastes and while I like the look of a straight shaft, I miss the curve of other dildos. A lot of harness compatible dildos have some curve, or some widening at the head, but Marilyn’s head is just the same width as the shaft. Even the upward angle of Talula is welcome to Marilyn’s bland figure.

Beginners, and those who do not like any kind of texture might appreciate the smooth shaft and slenderness of Marilyn. The slenderness and length also could make it a good choice for intermediate anal play. Or you might choose to pass on Marilyn and look through Vamp’s pages and find something with a different size and shape, more to suit your needs. To be fair, the description states that Marilyn is a “simple, all purpose dildo,” and she is. If you were a beginner with no dildos at all and you needed something you could use for anal if you so chose but also wanted something suitable for vaginal penetration, you might choose Marilyn.

I had thought the Leo by Vixen was a lot bigger or girthier than Marilyn, but the truth is they’re the same girth. Leo is actually slightly shorter, overall. Leo’s realistic curve is appealing, and the slightly softer silicone of Leo lends to an ever so slightly more realistic motion. They’re both basic, penis-shaped dildos, but Leo pulls it off a little better. The Marilyn is very straight, very smooth, very bland. The biggest difference is that Marilyn’s head is the same width as the rest of her body, while Leo’s head is 1/4 inch larger in circumference. It seems like it’s not that much, but it is, I assure you. Look at the proof.

I’m not doing a bullet list for Marilyn as it is much the same as that of Talula. Use waterbased lube only. Sterilize by boiling, rinsing with a 10% bleach solution, or tossing on the top shelf of the dish washer (without soap and without dishes). Use condoms when you share toys. Marilyn’s going to fit in most or all harnesses. Don’t point a dildo directly at another person while both persons are in motion. Er, wait… maybe you should do that last one. Either way, head over and check out Vamp‘s offerings. If Marilyn seems bland, try Elvis! (He’s got balls.)