thelesbianlifestyle.com

I was 32 and I had come to peace with the fact that I would be alone forever. I had done the “lesbian scene” in my mid twenties and gladly took my last bow when I turned 3o. The bars weren’t me, the clique’s weren’t me, the 3 degrees of separation wasn’t me, so who the Hell was I?

I was in love with a woman that I would never have for 7 years. This was oh so convenient since it allowed me to go about life being a hopeless romantic. I dug myself into a self loathing hole of unrequited love and I was more than comfortable in my fucked up version of fantasy love.  My mantra for all of those years was, “If I can’t be with her then I don’t want to be with anyone else.” I look back on those thoughts now and want to slap myself.

A few months back I remember telling a close friend of mine that I was sick of being stagnant. I was sick of being alone and doing the same thing over and over day after day. A change was in order. A few days after that I was on Match.com. I dropped 100.00 on a 6 month membership and I was ready for something… anything.

It’s been two months since I have been talking to the first woman I met on Match.com. She is amazing and makes me wonder what the Hell I was doing for 7 years. She says things that melt my heart, she never ceases to amaze me, and she loves me like I never thought anyone could.

Life creeps up on you sometimes. I apparently need it to grab me by the neck, shake me around, and then spit me out in order to see that I was worth someones love and affection. Giving up is the easy route and one that I will never take again. I am now so happy that there are times I don’t know what to do with myself.

We all deserve love. Though there are risks involved they are risks I am willing to take in the name of love. For those of you that have given up I encourage you to try again. If it can happen to me it can happen to anyone. I had to step out of my past to finally meet my future and it was the best move I’ve made in my life.

Cheers to love and change. Without them I would be rocking myself to sleep in some dark corner!