thelesbianlifestyle.com

I think I’ll start this out by saying that I have a really good relationship with my mother. Without her frankness when it came to educating me about sexuality, I would probably not be the wacky, open-minded person I am today, testing sex toys and sharing the often comic results with the world. Yep, you have her to thank for all of this madness.

I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m telling you about how awesome my mom is. Well, Mom and I are both reviewing the same thing today. The kind folks at Kama Sutra Closet sent two (yes, two) Form 2 vibrators over my way, one for myself, and the other one for Mom. You all better be nice to my Mom or I’m gonna lay smack-downs.

I’m sure a lot of you imagine this was heinously awkward, the stuff of fiction or nightmares. Well, it’s actually a pretty average day over here. If you all remember, Mom helped out with a brief comment about LELO’s Liv. The reason I wanted her in on the Form 2 review is… well, there are so many reasons. One? It’s catchy. A dual review of the Form 2, which is itself a dual-motor vibrator? It’s got a nice ring to it. Also, Mother’s Day is coming up (HINT!). But the real reason? I know there are a number of readers who are older than I am, who are probably closer to my Mom’s age. I read your comments and remember the things you’re looking for; toys that are ergonomic, toys that would work for people who might have different kinds of nerve damage, toys that work for older people who might have pain in their hands (or elsewhere) that makes holding things or certain positions difficult or impossible, etc. Mom has insight into some of the needs of 50-something women, and will talk more about her own particular experience with her Form 2, her particular situation/needs, and her thoughts and opinions of the toy in general. I’ll do the same, from my own perspective. We’re going to try and cover roughly the same areas and topics, just from different perspectives.

Design / Materials

FACT: The Form 2 is made of 100% silicone and stainless steel. Form 2 is completely waterproof. It can be taken into the bathtub and submerged.

Carnivalesq: Form 2 is adorable. It’s small, it’s simple, and it’s badass. There is a motor in each of the two flexible ears.  Very cool, but since it’s silicone you cannot use silicone lube with it, so if you’re in a tub or a pool, waterbased lube will wash off in the water so it would be handy if it was compatible with silicone lube. Alas, it is not. That might be a problem for you, or it might not be, but you should just be aware of it.

Form 2 is available in pink and slate. Form 2′s are both pink, but I think Mom’s happier with it pink than I am. However, in the name of full disclosure, my last love affair was pink too. And I own pink chucks. And once, I thought it might be ironic to get a pink handbag (it wasn’t). So, I’m good with the pink. I’ve made peace. Let’s move on.

Mom: I haven’t had any problem with the fact that you can’t use silicone lube on it, because what I have is water based. I like that it’s pink. I have a thing about pink. It’s weird, but I do. I actually wouldn’t have minded if it was blue, but that makes me think about the fairies and that’s a whole other conversation.

Size of Toy / Ease of Button Use / Ergonomics

Carnivalesq: Form 2 fits really well in the palm of my hand. It’s not too big or too small, and I dare say the buttons are perfect. I don’t find them difficult to press when you want to press them. I occasionally press a button while I’m using it and change the setting, but it doesn’t happen too often and it happens less often when I make sure my thumb is on the side with the buttons rather than all the rest of my fingers.

Mom: I really like the way that it fits into the palm of my hand. It’s easy to control just using your thumb. For someone with arthritis in their shoulder (like I do) or wrist (which I do not) it would be easy to use. For a vibrator like LELO’s Liv, there’s almost a quality to it like using a pencil, and there’s all those motions involved that tire out the muscles and your arm gets tired and you get repetitive motion pain. With the Form 2, you just cup it in your hand, and it just does what it does and you just hold it there. And once it’s on the right setting, you don’t even have to futz with it. I can also attest to the fact that it’s usable with your non-dominant hand (I was having a bad shoulder day).

Vibration Levels / Pattern Settings / Dual Motors

FACTS: There are five power levels. Navigate through them with the + and – buttons, by clicking to go one by one or pressing and holding to scroll up high fast or scroll down to the lowest level and turn off. There are also five vibrations modes navigated with the ~ button, below + and -, but I can only tell you about four of them because the fifth is imaginary. Mode 1: Constant, a steady dual-motor vibration. Mode 2: Oscillate, a slow vibration wave that alternates back and forth between the ears. Mode 3: Thrum, simultaneous fast vibration waves. 4: Pulse, rapid, intense pulsing from side to side. 5: Imaginary.

Carnivalesq: I usually find pattern modes annoying, but I like the pattern modes on the Form 2. The reason they’re better is because with a normal toy (read: a toy with one motor and one tip) when there is a pattern mode, there is a second when the toy is not vibrating at all and it leaves you in the lurch. With Form 2, during the second when one ear is not vibrating, the other is. Or they’re both going up and down, but never off. The pattern modes don’t kill the momentum, they help build it. I am beyond impressed. That said, Pulse is too much, or not enough, I’m not quite sure. It’s really fast and kind of buzzy and I’m not a fan of either. I find Thrum slightly annoying, but Oscillate is love. Imagine it; the ears on either side of your clit, tossing the vibrations back and forth, never dropping them completely away. I’m amazed no one thought of it sooner.

I generally find myself using Mode 1: Constant on power setting two or three. It’s plenty strong at that setting, and coming from me, that means something. However, I also stick to setting two or three because they are the highest settings I can use without tripping The Weirdness. What is The Weirdness? Well, I’ve found that when it’s on the highest power levels, in both Constant and Oscillate, the vibrations can jump from the ears to the base when pressure is exerted on the ears. Strangely, this doesn’t happen if you press it against your palm, but if you’re actually using it, it’s all about the weirdness. It wouldn’t be too big a deal, but a decrease in vibration in the ears means less vibration on your clit, and at the same time, the motor amps up to a noisy whine. I know of a handful of other Form 2′s that do this. Jimmyjane claims it’s a normal function of the toy due to the dual motors being positioned very close together or something like that. I wish it wasn’t something that I’m conscious of and try to aviod every time I turn the toy on. Five hundred thousand points from Gryffindor for being weird. If yours does this, too, Jimmyjane will replace a malfunctioning unit. There is a THREE year limited warranty on defects.

Oh, and there apparently is a fifth setting. Epiphora has contacted jimmyjane for more information about this imaginary setting, but they basically shunned the non-believers and offered about as much help as candy colored unicorns. As mystical as that is, I’d like to actually, you know experience this setting, rather than seek it out fruitlessly.

Mom: I wound up with weird vibration one time, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. I don’t think I’m as technologically savvy with these things as you are, but I just fiddled with it till it behaved itself. I couldn’t tell you what setting I use it on, but I think it’s pretty high, but that’s because of menopause because some sensitivity is gone. That’s the great thing about this because it’s so adjustable with the intensity and you can increase it if you need to. With menopause, with decreased sensitivity, myself and a lot of women I’ve talked to have talked about decreased ability to have orgasms. This is the cure for that. The problem just doesn’t exist anymore now.

I also don’t have the foggiest idea which vibration thing I use, because I know they all have the names that were assigned to them, but there’s the one that’s like a drum beat on either side, and that’s the one that I like.

Carnivalesq: That’s “Thrum.”

Mom: I call it “Drum.” I also don’t know about the fifth imaginary setting because I don’t know all the names of the settings that I have. I just know the ones that sneak up on me. I keep waiting for the fifth one to sneak up on me, but it hasn’t.

Flexible “Ears”

Carnivalesq: Jimmyjane says you can pinch the ears like tweezers to apply pressure to your clit like pinching or squeezing. Is this true? Yes it is. It’s difficult to maintain, though, and especially when the toy is lubey. However, if you can manage it, it’s a kind of awesome I can’t really describe well. Imagine an amazing, strong, pinpoint vibrator to one side of your clit. Now imagine another one also on the other side. Now imagine them pinching your clit. It could potentially cause you to theoretically launch off the bed and onto the floor.

Mom: Highly dangerous, for a woman my age. The first time I used it was quite dangerous enough — I thought I was going to split open my c-section incision because the orgasm was so intense. That could cause my early demise. …hang on, I need to go check that out.

Power Source / Charging Base

FACT: The Form 2 is powered by a Lithium Polymer battery that charges with the included charging base.

Carnivalesq: The metal disc at the bottom of Form 2 touches the two metal points in the charging base when you set it down, and it charges like that. Nothing on the toy plugs in anywhere, there no port covers to lose, no batteries to buy or hassle with, just epic win. The charging base is kind of like that of an iPod, but it just rests on the base rather than plugging into it. Also, Form 2 doesn’t need to be set perfectly on it, like some toys do. As long as the metal of the base touches the pins, it’s charging. You’ll be able to tell, because the light is on while it charges.

I like the charging base. It’s just easy. You set it down and it’s charging. At this point, I don’t care about whether toys come with hiding spots, but I think Mom was kind of bummed it didn’t have a discreet little box or case to store it in like the Liv does.

Mom: Actually, I don’t mind that it doesn’t have a case, and it actually functions as an extra little pink nightlight in your room. And having the charging base out on the desk for storage means it’s always charged when I want to use it. With the other one, even if I charge it afterward, sometimes when I come back to it another time it’s lost some charge. The Form 2 doesn’t have that happen.

Free Space / Etcetera

We’d like to take this opportunity to share some gems from the user manual. I love the warnings companies have to include with products just to cover their asses. Please enjoy the following.

“Do not mistreat the Lithium Polymer battery if it becomes exposed.”

Carnivalesq: Always good advice. I don’t like to be mistreated when I’m exposed, either, but be sure you remember the golden rule when it comes to your batteries, too.

Mom: Oh, God, I don’t even know what to say.

“Do not dispose of either the device or the Lithium Polymer battery in a fire.”

Carnivalesq: Thanks for that, manual. Because, you know, I usually do make bonfires to get rid of my old vibrators. Ok… seriously? Someone really needs that warning? Oh, people! Use some common sense, would you?

Mom: Like, what did it ever do to you? Why would you ever set your vibrator on fire? So like, “If you do that one more time, I’m going to set you on fire!” What is that? Like, “I’m so exasperated with you!” I don’t even get that.

“Do not massage any single area for more than 15 minutes.”

Carnivalesq: I regularly break this rule. Like, daily. Whoops?

Mom: What were they thinking? They make a thing like this, that’s as awesome as this, and they put this warning on it? What if there is someone who feels that they have to follow all the rules and goes absolutely nuts with this. There’s going to be people setting timers. It’s going to make people crazy.

“Always avoid contact with the eye or eyelid.”

Carnivalesq: No eyegasms, people. It’s simply not allowed.

Mom: IN WHAT WORLD DID THEY NEED TO COME UP WITH THIS AS A RULE? Who looked at this and said, “I think I need to use this on my EYES!” What kind of fools?

“Do not massage the upper neck area near the base of the skull.”

Carnivalesq: I think this might result in death. Just don’t do it.

Mom: I can’t imagine why you’d massage the base of your skull with this anyway.

“Do not use this product as a substitute for medical attention.”

Carnivalesq: I NEED AN ORGASM, STAT. Shit, I need a DOCTOR not a vibrator!

Any smarmy comments?

Mom: Yeah, there’s one bubbling up. I can’t even express it. Like… what medical attention…? What would you have wrong with you that you thought using this would help, that you thought you just needed an orgasm but you got done and realized, “Oh shit, I needed a doctor.” I wanna see that.

No conclusion, that’s it, we’re both laughing too hard to think of anything else to say. Head on over and pick up a Form 2 from Kama Sutra Closet for yourself or your mom (or your daughter!).