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What Would Sappho Say?

Lectori Salutem! or L.S. (Greetings to the Reader!)

Well, it’s finally time for the Incredibly True Adventures Of …. no, no, not that movie, it’s the other one – BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER!!!! No, not that one either, but closer… I was co-captain of the cheerleading squad my senior year. I know, I know it’s so passe´. Of course my coming out story is no where near as interesting as those wonderfully delightful lesbian films of the nineties when gay women directors were just getting there real chance to put something good out there for us to see. This will be my own truth and hopefully you will find it entertaining as I sure as hell felt like I had split personalities there for a while. As we all know, high school can be a bitch no matter how popular you are.

I’ll start my journey off when my sexuality reared its head and wanted to be heard in the 10th grade. Like so many of us, I had crushes on friends, teachers, I even had the Farrah Fawcett swimsuit poster on my wall at age 10 (GET A CLUE MOM) but nothing had really happened other than a few childhood kisses here and there that I’m pretty sure more than us gay women have. Then, the summer between freshmen and sophomore year my family went on our traditional trip back to La Jolla, San Diego, CA to visit our relatives from where we moved from a few years back.

Every time we all came to California, the one thing I always wanted to do now that I was older and had an allowance was go to Tijuana, Mexico, just over the CA/MX border. Tijuana is the largest swap meet you’re ever gonna see with all the best designer merchandise you want (as long as you’re ok if it’s iffy on the validity of its origin) for a great price. Some of it was real, some was fake but I didn’t care ‘cause it sure would pass the test of the girls I hung out with back home. It wasn’t like we were old enough yet to get out our magnifying glasses and look at seams for perfection and this stuff wasn’t bad enough that it didn’t have the real GG’s for Gucci. It looked very legit when it came to certain designers. I had saved all year for this trip.

As I trolled through the aisles I came upon some of the punk rock leather wear – studded stuff. It sparked something in me that I couldn’t really put my finger on but all of a sudden I was thinking of this girl in our school that was really avant-garde and supposedly bisexual. She had the spiky, short hair and beautiful, porcelain skin. That rumor swirled around her furiously since she didn’t deem it worthy of denial and was reinforced by the facts as high school standards go – she was in drama and into the most punk of rock. I found myself reaching in my pocket and buying this big arm cuff with steel spikes on it that looked all her. Since I didn’t know her and it didn’t go with my wardrobe, I had no idea what I was going to do with it but I had to have it. It was expensive too and took up much of my allowance for Ralph Lauren Tee’s and Guess Jeans, which were more my style, but still…. I wanted to have it and I wanted to have it for HER. Oh no….

We got back from California and I must have looked at that bracelet for almost a month before I came up with a with a lousy plan of inaction. Come to find out she actually only lived about 12 houses away from me. I decided that there was a chance she knew who I was. That was enough to get me up and off the couch and heading in her direction. Maybe she wouldn’t think it was weird that I bought someone that I barely knew a studded arm band just her taste that cost some coin? I mean, I just did it because an impulse made me think of her and the fact that she would really like it. There wasn’t any more to it than that, right?

So I walked to her house with the bracelet in a box inside brown bag after a major argument with myself about whether or not to wrap it. Too showy for someone you’ve never talked to I decided, don’t you think? Then, the moment of truth arrived – I rang the door. The crazy part was when she answered I had a major freak out on the inside. In all of the anxiety over what I would do or what I would say to her when I gave her the bracelet, I didn’t think out the rest of it at all. My palms immediately became sweaty. She answered the door.

It was a good thing I didn’t think it through or there wouldn’t be a rest of this part of the story to tell. It would be just another tale of might have been. So, hopefully you are intrigued enough with just this to find out if this pretty, brazen, popular girl whose friends would NOT believe someone if they told them she had done this, gets a “what the heck?” look or whatever else happens after that door opens. The story definitely continues as does my coming out story tomorrow. Please tune in.

Much Love.

Inspired By Sappho

QUOTES OF THE DAY
It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.
Charles Pierce

Homosexuality, is regarded as shameful by barbarians and by those who live under despotic governments just as philosophy is regarded as shameful by them, because it is apparently not in the interest of such rulers to have great ideas engendered in their subjects, or powerful friendships or passionate love-all of which homosexuality is particularly apt to produce.
Plato, The World’s Most Influential Philosopher, 428 BC -348 BC

What Would Sappho Say