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What Would Sappho Say?

Lectori Salutem! or L.S. (Greetings to the Reader!)

For those of you who aren’t up to speed, read Coming Out, Vol I. For the rest of you, the door was opened and there she stood. This beautiful punk rock girl in sweats, hardly any make-up, wondering what in the hell I was doing at her door with a brown paper bag. She started off with a big smile and “Hi! What are you doing here?” I, on the other hand, was exploding inside as the whole time I had been focused on whether or not to come over and knock on the door itself, I clearly had been too stupid to play it through in my head as to what might happen if the door indeed opened. I must have stood there for at least thirty seconds before acknowledging my own name.

“Yes, yes, hi Kathy. I know this is weird, me just showing up like this but….” and I launched into some lame story of how I had seen this black leather studded arm bracelet in Tijuana, Mexico and how cheap it was there (what a lie – it cost almost a third of the allowance I had saved for the trip). I told her I immediately thought of her and for no real reason bought it and just thought she might like to add it to her collection. While telling this story my palms were getting sweaty and I was obviously nervous by the rate of speed at which I spoke. My heart was speeding along at warp and I was doing everything possible to avoid those amazingly beautiful blue eyes amidst this dark brown hair.

By the time I really looked up again and into those aqua blue eyes they had their own teasing smile and penetrating gaze as her smile foretold the gig was up. She just grabbed my sweaty hand and lead me inside her house. Now, the real teasing and flirting began as I had not yet been completely honest with myself as to why I was there and she knew it and loved baiting me by pulling the words she wanted to hear out of my mouth. She moved slow as to not scare me away – I was pretty sure she had done this before, after all she was a senior and I was beginning my sophomore year.

That first day she took me straight to her bedroom and my heart was leaping out of my chest as I didn’t know what was about to happen. I was excited and terrified all at the same time. Once we got there, all I got was a lot of embarrassing questions. Like I said, she wanted to hear the words. First, “so, you bought me a present. How nice of you. We don’t really know each other. What’s the real story? We aren’t sitting in my bedroom because you were being thoughtful of a stranger out of altruism. What do you get out of this deal?”

I wanted to stay with her that was for sure so I wasn’t going to fight her logic and leave. I tried a bit of honesty. “I wanted to get to know you better. You seem really interesting.” WRONG WORDS. Kathy immediately and jumped on that one. “Oh really. What have you heard about me that so interests you? Punk Rock? If you choose it I will quiz you. Drama? Haven’t seen you in the drama club. Now what interests you so much about little old me?”

I wasn’t ready to walk square into that one so I said, “It’s that you are unique. You stand up for your convictions and don’t care what other people think of you. High schoolers, especially not girls, rarely do that and I am impressed, even envious.” She leaned back against the bed as we were both sitting on the floor on pillows and smiled. “I’ll bet you’re a great debater. Way to get around the question while impressing the judge.” Then out of the blue she said, “I’d really like to kiss you now. Is that unique enough for you?”

It all came together in that moment that this is what I wanted and planned and plotted for by buying that stupid bracelet. I wanted to be with Kathy in the flesh, not idealized as I did with my friends and movie stars. I was no longer scared. She crawled across the bedroom floor to reach where I was leaning against a wall. My body suddenly relaxed and as she put her mouth to mine and I smelled her sweetness and felt the softness of her lips. My hand reached up to her neck to pull her in closer and all of a sudden a felt like I was home and normal. It was so different than all the guys I had kissed and the tongues they used to try to reach my tonsils. This was something that I could use to explore my sexuality and technique with because I was aroused by it. She led me for a little while and then I was off taking the reins and then releasing them again as women do.

That was all that happened that first day was kissing but it was the world to me. She asked me many more embarrassing questions, getting the dirt on how much I liked her, and how beautiful I thought she was. All of a sudden a whole new world opened up to me. In that same breath, that whole new world needed to be separate. I wasn’t ready to take any more steps than the 150 it took to get to Kathy’s house and she knew it. She seemed to understand.

Now that the door is opened the story will progress much faster. Stick around to read what comes next.

Much Love.

Inspired By Sappho’s Muse

QUOTE OF THE DAY
Know thyself.
Plato

Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.
Plato

What Would Sappho Say