2010
The Days of My Split Personality – Coming Out Vol. III
What Would Sappho Say?
Lectori Salutem! or L.S. (Greetings to the Reader!)
For those of you haven’t been following this riveting tale of one woman coming to terms with her sexuality, you can catch up by scanning Coming Out, Vol I and Coming Out, Vol II for the juicy bits of my burgeoning lesbianism. We ended with me figuring out that was exactly what I was. Gay.
Even so, I was not ready for the world to know and the woman I had picked to lead me through the murky waters of homosexuality had a true reputation for being bisexual that she was proud not to discredit. She assured me she would keep us a secret and going back to school after that last bit of summer, kissing and talking, learning about myself and my feelings, it had been a different world than what I was walking back into a school.
Things went on at school like they always did. I hung out with my friends, the popular girls for the most part. My best friends were some of the most beautiful in the school, constantly competing for Queen of this and Miss that. We were no longer the low girls on the totem pole so our world went a bit smoother and as for my group of friends. As for Kathy, I acted like she didn’t exist at school. We left each other notes in our lockers – notes of such corny proportion that when I look back at some of them now (yes, I happened to have found I few I saved in an old shoe box) they make me shiver with embarrassment.
I was quite a tease with Kathy as I was so scared of the act of sex between women that I ran whenever things got heavy and she didn’t push too hard. She also was amazingly patient about the way I treated her around my friends. I wasn’t rude but I was in full avoidance mode. I could have been her friend and no one would have thought anything as she was friends with a few people who were in my circle of people – not directly, but close enough not to draw suspicion if we talked, but no…. I could not do it.
We made it through till Christmas when a boy asked me out. He was President of the Student Council and my friends had been telling me how he liked me, how cute he was, how lucky I was that he had picked me since they would all go out with him in a second. I felt pressured to say “yes”. I didn’t talk to Kathy before it happened and it just slipped out of my mouth that I would go to the movies with him Friday night. Our high school was big but even a big high school is small. Word travels fast and before I could get to Kathy to tell her my way she was in my face saying “Congrats” and walked off. She dropped something in my locker.
She was furious. She broke up with me in the note. I went over to her house all melodramatic, crying for her to take me back, begging really. I explained that I didn’t care about this guy it was all part of a cover story so I could be with her. Her eyes lit up. She turned to me and smiled. I was confused. She had a brilliant idea she said. “If you need a guy to date for us to be together then let me pick him out. I have the perfect guy. He’s a senior. He’s the school mascot and he’s incredibly good looking. Larry will be asking you out next week so go ahead and go out with this other boy but give him the cold shoulder or something. Leave the rest to me.”
I thought she was crazy but it worked like a charm. I went out with John and we were just not right for each other I made sure. Just as Kathy said, Larry approached me early the next week and asked me to go see a concert with him and my friends were extremely impressed with my dating acumen. What I hadn’t found out yet is what would happen on this date with Larry. I assumed Kathy would be there too or something and that he was just a really good friend of hers.
Larry arrived at my door with Kathy and a gorgeous man I hadn’t met before. Larry introduced him to my parents as Kathy’s boyfriend Mark and I held in a laugh. My parents had come to like Kathy even though the punk thing really put them off at first and were glad to see I was going out with her there as well.
We all said our goodbyes and in Larry’s Mustang I finally was able to say, ”What the %^**?” Kathy introduced me to Mark, Larry’s boyfriend, and the wheels started to click into place. This would be perfect – the perfect cover for Kathy and I to go out on dates together, be alone together…. Oh shit, that part still scared me to death. By now she had her hands under my shirt and my shirt off but my pants hadn’t gone anywhere.
She was still amazingly patient. We made out and rolled all over each other, went to some great restaurants (Kathy had a job, me just an allowance), saw some theater, but our favorite was going to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Larry, Mark, Kathy, and I managed to stay together until summer and at school it was all about Larry and me dating that ruled the conversation when anyone asked. Kathy and I were even outward acquaintances now because she and Larry were good friends how could I not be friendly towards her?
All of this high school drama comes to its peak in the next and last episode this weekend. I hope this hasn’t bored you guys too much and has at least fascinated a few of you.
Much Love.
Inspired By Sappho’s Muse
