Name: Tiffany
Age: N/A
Location: Somewhere between wrong and right!

QUESTION:

Alright girls help me out here! I need to know if I’m way out of my gourd on this one! I’m literally ready to turn my life upside down for a woman that is 23 yrs my senior! Psshh, no problem right? Well, she also doesn’t even know I exist, she lives in a completely different state, she’s recently divorced (from a man, no kids), and she is very successful and respected in her career which is the film industry (NO, not porn!). But amazingly enough I have an opportunity to get to know her..her being somewhat of a mentor to me, I guess. I need to know if I should follow my heart on this one and take a really, really, next to impossible chance?? Or am I just being crazy?

Read the TLL Advice Panelists answers after the jump…

Lori Hahn

Dear Tiffany – Has she given you any idea she is sexually interested in you? But, yeah, end the engagement as soon as possible.  If you are willing to risk your friendship to declare yourself?  That may be exactly what happens.  It’s a big risk, but if it’s that important to you, you only go around once, go for it.

Good luck!
Lori
Our Big Gayborhood

Shanna Katz

Shanna
www.shannakatz.com

Dharma Kelleher

Dear Tiffany,

When I was in my 20s, I had  a serious crush on Lori Petty. It’s normal to be attracted to a celebrity.

However, running away from one’s life in hopes of wooing a celebrity who doesn’t know you exist is never a good idea. It’s a fantasy that is doomed to end in disaster. It might even be an indicator of bipolar disorder, low self-esteem or other issues. That doesn’t mean you’re crazy. But there may be some things that should be address before getting into a relationship with anyone. So I would strongly encourage you to seek counseling from a license therapist with experience in sexual orientation and relationship issues.

You deserve to be happy and to have a fulfilling relationship with someone that loves you. But in order for someone else to love you, you need to love yourself. And you are worth loving. Trust the process.

Peace out,
Dharma Kelleher
http://www.dharmakelleher.com/

Tina-cious

Dear Tiffany,

What exactly do you mean “turn your life upside for her”?  Are you going to move to be near her or something?

If so, why??  I mean, if she doesn’t even know you exist and you don’t even know if she’s gay why would you take such a risk??

I would be apprehensive to do that for someone I was only dating! LOL

If anything I’d say to go visit where she is and at the very least try to get to meet her.  I mean, really, you don’t want to do anything drastic, no?

If you are unhappy in any current relationships, by all means, end them… it’s only fair to whoever you may be with, but I would strongly advise against doing anything you can’t undo to be with someone who doesn’t even know your name.

Baby steps

Tina-cious

Kelly Leszczynski

Tiffany ~

Before you do anything I would take a deep breath and put things into perspective. Ask yourself the following questions. What do you have to lose? How will your decisions effect others? Is this woman even truly interested in you? Your question actually sounds like the stories movies are made of. Some of those movies have happy endings and some of them don’t.

My advice would be to follow your heart, but don’t be too surprised if it ends up getting broken. We all love a tear jerker, but I hope for you a happy ending.

Kelly
Brain Clouds

Do you have advice you would like to give? Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

Do you have a question you would like to pose to The Lesbian Lifestyle Advice Panelists? Find out more about the panelists and submit your question here.

* Please note that this advice should by no means be used as an actual diagnosis or therapy session. All of the panelists will be giving you their views from their own life experiences. If you have any further inquires please send them here.