2010
***A PREGNANT LESBIAN MUM***
I HAVE JOINED THIS WEBSITE PURELY FOR THIS POST I AM ABOUT TO WRITE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THERE IS NOT ENOUGH INFO,ADVICE OR SUPPORT OUT THERE!
My name is Sophie, i’m 24 years old and realised i was a lesbian at the age of 13/14. I have been with my fiancee Kayleigh for nearly four years now. We have a little girl 2 1/2 yrs old, and we both know how so very lucky we are to have been able to start a family together! But this is where the problem lies.
kayleigh and i decided to start a family but knew it would be hard. we sat and thought of all the ays we could do this and realised that ivf would be way too expensive for us, although if it came down to it, i know that we would have gone to any lengths to be able to have our little girl. but we were fortunate enough to have a freind that offered his uses to us! so there we were, in our bedroom, kayleigh with a syringe in her hand and me laid down on the bed! we tried to make it romantic, but im afraid to say that it really was the most disgusting, awkward and embarrassing thing i’ve had to do! it was very, “L word” style legs up and everything! Awful! but so worth it.
so there was where it all started. we had mixed reactions from friends and family some accepted it like it happens every day ( which was great!) then others were either confused (understandable) as to how we did it, and very curious, or was not very happy about it and ouldnt get their heads round it. which i must say now, did not last very long. we had a few problems with medical staff such as health visitors calling kayleigh ” dad” or “friend” but we politely corrected people and things were good.
we also went on telly, the day i was due on a debate show. subject : “does a child need a father?”
Our arguement was that we feel that children dont really need a father figure, but a male role model is essential in any childs life. our little girl has 3 grandads and three great-grandads she also has an uncle, she is very lucky in this way. she idolises two of her grandads and see them as her dominant male role models.
Now im pregnant again! same sperm donor. And this time we have had no negativity. i do feel like things like this are getting more accepted. BUT my only problem is there are not enough stories out there!
has anyone ever google’d “pregnant lesbian” ? oh my god, just dont do it! i was horrified! but my point is, i couldnt find anything on the internet about gay couples having children together and i dont know anyone in the same kind of situation! i know lesbian couple who have got together and one of them already had children, but none that have actually started a family together.
I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY PREGNANT LESBIAN OUT THERE!
there must be some out there somewhere!? i read all the stupid pregnancy magazines and read things like “get “him” to give you a massage” or “daddy” this and “daddy” that. which would be fine if i could find something that was a little more relative to my life aswell as the “norm”
i dont know maybe im being silly but it would just be nice to know someone else who has done the same thing.
Putting all that aside, i have the perfect family and i know im lucky to have this as there are so many lesbians and gay men out there who want to have children and dont have the facilities. Alot of our friends have come up to us said asked how we did it and that they really want children with their partners. And all we can say is that there is no secret to it, theres no knack, we were just lucky to have someone who would help us!
thanks for listening guys
sophie
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Sophie–yes, there are other lesbians who want to be, are, or have been pregnant. I hope you’ll consider stopping by my blog Mombian, which is dedicated to lesbian moms of all types–plenty of my readers did/are doing the pregnancy thing. (My partner and I included.) I also have a Mombian Facebook page, and there’s a discussion thread there for lesbians who are trying to get pregnant. Hope that helps!