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I sat up in my hospital bed, still trying to catch my breathe from that very last push, held our baby girl and sobbed exuberantly into my partner, Kayleigh’s  chest . I was relieved we had finally done it, finally made our little family. something that seemed so impossible for me before.

When Kayleigh and i first started “skimming” across the subject of children, i don’t think either one of us truly thought we would actually achieve it.  But it all became very real when i found myself sat round a table, Kayleigh sat next to me and our “donor friend” sat opposite, discussing the terms and conditions on all parties. And so it began, the un-romantic beginnings of my, now very perfect, happy, loving little family.

I’m sat here now, reminiscing the sequence of events thinking, it was all so meant to be! Only fate could let it all happen so easily! There we were in our cream and blue bathroom. I put the pregnancy test on the side of the sink and nudged at Kayleigh to walk away from the temptation of obsessively staring at it for the whole 2 mins.we walked down our narrow corridor to our bedroom at the end. I think we were only stood at the bedroom door way for a second before we both looked at each other, grinned and raced each other back to the bathroom to grab the test.

Two lines… two.. lines. PREGNANT! We simultaneously gasped all the oxygen out of the bathroom before screaming and jumping about with excitement. That was it, no going back now, we’re having a baby! we couldnt wait to tell everyone our great news. It definitely came as a massive shock to our friends and family as we had kept even the fact that we had talked about starting a family a secret. Kayleigh decided to drive me 100 miles down the motorway so i could go see my family and tell them face to face our news. They were all so happy for us. By the end of the day we sat on our fold out bed in my mums spare room, maybe a little bit shell shocked. To think, when we woke up that morning we were none the wiser that there was a new little life growing inside me, especially made just for us. Then Kayleigh’s phone rang, it was her mum. the only person we had avoided telling. She was trying for a baby herself and we felt that it was best we kept it from her until she announced that she was pregnant too. God knows what would happen if she didn’t become pregnant in time before i started showing! Kayleigh cringed as she answered the phone to her mother whom she was no good at keeping things from.

“just thought i’d ring to let you know i’m pregnant!”

Great! I thought excitedly as Kayleigh began beating round the bush at tell her mum that her girlfriend was pregnant. But then the happiness started to drain from Kayleigh’s face as she sat there in silence listening to her mothers “say” on the matter.

“Dont expect me to be “grandma” ! Dont even think about telling your brother and sister they are aunty and uncle! we’re having no part of it. when, WHEN you split us and she runs off with the baby dont come crying to me because i dont want to know. You’re stupid! ”

In my opinion, it was probably Kayleigh’s mum’s words that caused a lot of Kayleigh’s insecurities during the pregnancy and and the first few months of our baby’s life. This was just the start of the next year of our lives. insecurity, hormones, controversy, fights and trying to cope. But hidden amongst all the nightmares we still went along on our little journey to being a family holding hands with so much love, excitement and naivety. This is the prologue to our story, how it all came about . if your interested, keep reading as there is a lot to tell!

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