Name: TJ
Age: 37
Location: Long Beach, CA

QUESTION:
I’m really liking this girl, but one thing that bothers me is the bad attitude I sense at times. I really like her personality and every thing else about her as well. But I really would like to take our relationship further, but she’s hard to read at times, as far as the attitude. What should I do?

Read the TLL Advice Panelists answers after the jump…

Lori Hahn

Out of the office

Lori
Our Big Gayborhood

Shanna Katz

TJ -

I’m not sure what you mean by bad attitude. Does she not agree with your points of view? Or is she throwing temper tantrums?

Basically, it boils down to this. People are not going to change because you want them to — change comes from within. If you like her enough that you can put up with the attitude, then certainly, it’s worth a try. However, if this attitude is a deal breaker, leave now; don’t expect her to change for you.

Best of luck,

Shanna
www.shannakatz.com

Dharma Kelleher

Dear TJ,

I’m not sure exactly what you mean by bad attitude, but I’m guessing it’s code for anger or a quick temper. While you may consider bringing the subject of her bad attitude up, it is important for you to realize that she isn’t going to change any time soon. Relationships are like used cars. You have to take them as-is. No warranty. No improvements. No guarantees of any kind. If her bad attitude bothers you, you may want to look elsewhere. There are a lot of great women out there. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

Peace out,
Dharma Kelleher
http://www.dharmakelleher.com/

Tina-cious

Out of the office

Tina-cious

Kelly Leszczynski

TJ-

Her “attitude” is a part of her. It may not be her best attribute, but it is something that I fear you may not be able to change about her. Some women find attitudes sexy and other’s can’t stand them in another woman.

My question to you would be is the rest of her worth dealing with a little “tude” on occasion? If so then you need to work on how you deal with her when she gets in a mood.

Good luck!

Kelly
Brain Clouds

Do you have advice you would like to give? Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

Do you have a question you would like to pose to The Lesbian Lifestyle Advice Panelists? Find out more about the panelists and submit your question here.

* Please note that this advice should by no means be used as an actual diagnosis or therapy session. All of the panelists will be giving you their views from their own life experiences. If you have any further inquires please send them here.