2011
Children
So as the story goes………….I meet someone I like, we share much in common then a month or two into it, it comes up….”Do you ever want to have children?”……then it’s all downhill from here!
I am looked at in disgust upon my response which tends to irate most.
I have never desired to have children, it is not something I have ever dreamed of, and like many others, I don’t think or feel that simply because I am a woman, my sole purpose is to procreate only because that is what my body was meant to do.
So I found a gorgeous girl, one I had bonded with, someone I felt intense about. The question arose and her reply was “Honestly? Yes, I would like a kid, I would like a family to call my own.”
I personally thought that was neat, I never imagined that would be her response, “after all she is a party animal.” I thought.
I proceeded to explain how I didn’t want any children, simply because I am selfish, I wouldn’t want to destroy my body and because I couldn’t imagine having to give up personal time and space, for a child, “I don’t want one, PERIOD.”
We haven’t talked much since then. Goes to prove my point, that kids are a burden before they are even in the picture. This is not my first failed relationship over this. Something I am so passionate about, others find insulting and offensive.
I am starting to believe that having a gayby is the new trend. Perhaps is just my age group. Then there is also the misconception that, if you are in a shitty relationship, the baby will be the glue that will hold it together. Tell you what……in some instances that may be the case but is always for the wrong reasons and at times, with selfish intentions.
I always wonder if there are others out there that feel the way I do? I refuse to believe that I am alone in all of this.
Sent in by: ellezun@gmail.com
Age: 29
Location: Indianapolis, IN
I find absolutely nothing insulting about your personal opinion and desire not to have children.
What I do find insulting is your prejudice against kids and people that want them (“kids are a burden before they are even in the picture”, WTF?). Wanting to have a family is not a “trend”, but a serious decision people some people choose to make.
Tell me why you think people should continue to date you in a relationship doomed to go nowhere from their perspective. You certainly don’t seem to be open to changing your mind, so why should they?
You come off as rather petty and self-absorbed in this article (why won’t anyone love me, there’s nothing wrong with me, there’s just something wrong with everyone else) which makes me reconsider; perhaps the reason you have had so many “failed relationships over this” is because of your bad attitude, not some secret plot by all the gays to have babies.
And for the record, I know plenty of girls (gay and straight) who don’t want kids. They never seem to have a hard time finding people to date.