thelesbianlifestyle.com

Wow..here I go; my story. I matter enough to have a story worth hearing? This is great. I am in love for the first time. I used to think(and still do sometimes) that love was just chemical, situational…fake. But I wanted that beautiful delusion of love; oh, I wanted it so bad. I was not always gay but some people thought I was because I was extremely pro-gay. To this day I still do not know if I turned gay or always was but had not discovered it yet. I have had 4 boyfriends and only one of them was serious(no sex though). It did not feel that wrong at the time; it felt genuine. So then there was this girl and she was a friend of a friend and started eating lunch with us at school. I thought she was really cool. After a good while I started to realize that I was thinking and doing all the things I have done when I had a crush in the past with her. I kept shoving it off thinking I was being just like every other stupid high school chick who wanted to ‘experiment with her sexuality’. I didn’t want to be like that. I also didn’t want to use (lets call her) J. But the feeling grew stronger and stronger and I could not deny it. I was not trying so hard to deny it because I was ashamed but rather cause I thought if was really a lesbian there would have been more signs plus what I said in the previous sentences. (Though the first person I kissed was a girl-but that was it mostly-). So I finally came to terms with it telling myself “it‘s not like ‘oh, im a lesbian now, look at me!’ but more that it feels like every other crush I have had before except it is a girl this time and I am attracted to her as a girl(though it did feel more genuine than past crushes)”. –I started writing out the details and I was boring myself so I am going to skip a lot of details and just tell major points–. I asked her out on a date(it took me soo long to get up the courage even though I knew she liked me!). We moved faster than is usual for me but things felt so right with her. Second time I saw her she asked if I wanted a relationship and I remember she was so surprised that I said I really did. At first I was only into her and I think I might have still liked guys-then was not interested in guy and into J- then BAM!! I started being completely into girls: so beautiful, so sexy, so cute, so magical in their ways..what was I doing with my life before!! Even with this complete turn around and my much more charged sexual attraction to girls, I only wanted J. Even though I was so into girls and did not want guys AT ALL, I still called myself bi because I thought maybe it is a phase(though I hoped not) and it was so sudden I did not want to be all “ Ive had a girlfriend for a little bit so im totally a lesbian now, wee!”, ya know? It took me a long time but I finally said to myself

Sent in by: Anonymous
Age: 17