2011
Judemental
I have very mixed emotions towards other lesbians. All my friends are straight, not one gay. It’s terrible i’d love to have a group of out-and-proud lesbian friends but I cant bring myself to let anyone of them in, or around my girlfriend. I trust Keisha (my partner) but not any other lesbians. Her and I have been screwed over by the same little clique of butches in our town. An it really affected the way I viewed all lesbians. Sucks really. I for a while thought oh the butchy, dykey ones have a mans mentality. Keisha an I are…kinda femmes i guess lol. We dress casual, but have long hair an keep up with make up an such. Wow I never realized how labely it sounds. hahah. Anyway, the mans mentality turns me off. They are sex fiends like men really. Can’t stand it. An I cant recall another femme ive ever met other than the girl im with. I know I probably sound ignorant as shit but, I really would like to meet a butch or pretty much any lesbian who is in a serious committed relationship, knows what she wants in a woman an will respect my relationship with Keisha. We both feel as if we are the only mature ones. As far as relationships go that is. An another thing it could be is our age, shes 20 im 18. young but we are positive we want each other. So if you are a lesbian in a serious an happy relationship please tell me your story and opinions. I’d love to hear em an Im hoping it’ll help me not be so damn judgmental. Thanks 
Sent in by: Shirlee
Age: 18
Location: Florida
While I won’t disclose my actual age here, I’ll say I’m probably about the same age as your mother, so I don’t qualify as young by your definition. (Hint: the older you get, the younger you start to think you are, so it’s all good.)
I came out when I was very close to age 40, and one of the things my therapist told me as she helped walk me through the early part of that journey was this: you shouldn’t expect to like every lesbian any more than you expect to like every straight person. Simple advice, but makes a lot of sense.
This means that you and your girlfriend are completely normal in looking for (and finding) friends with whom you share common interests and values. Some of those friends will be straight, some gay, and some won’t necessarily identify as anything in particular. But if you like Harry Potter, you’ll hang with the Harry Potter crowd. If you like rocket science, you’ll hang with astronauts. If you like Jane Austen, you’ll hang with the book club people.
At this point, rather than judging yourself as judgmental, instead look around for folks you with whom you have common interests. I bet there will be some gay gals in the group, or, given your youth, some gals who will come out just because of your inspiration. You never know!
Have fun with the friends you have, and keep your eyes open. Lesbians, it turns out, are everywhere. Who knew? Enjoy!