1,300 captive lesbians

Jul
2011

1,300 captive lesbians

so an opportunity was presented to me on friday night. it is an opportunity that made my asshole clench as does all of the things that i am unfamiliar with or things that are out of my comfort zone…

but for real, it is too good to pass up. i am laughing as i am writing this because i feel like i will be able to write a novel after my experience. i am already thinking that i can do podcasts. i need to get a camera for sure.

get to it, you say, bridget. ok, i am going on an olivia cruise.if you are unfamiliar with this, it is a gigantic ship filled to the brim with only lesbians. soak it in. 1300 dykes running wild in their best sports bra/board short combos, mullets everywhere and they can’t get away from me..insert evil laughter here. now this could be a good thing or a bad. it is one thing to make a fool of yourself with the ladies at the bar but you get to go home and say to yourself, “yikes, did i really just do that/say that/kiss her?” you might run into them again but probably not. now, if this happens on a ship that you will be on for a week, that could make for some awkward times.

i am so glad i am in therapy because by the time the cruise comes, i will have over a year of self exploration under my belt and god willing will make better choices but…i am a wild card, you never know. as i sit here and write this, i am alternating between being excited out of my mind and scared to death.

i have been learning how to explore my life in a way that i never have. i am doing things on my own and saying yes more to opportunities. i am no longer afraid of failure. it was ironic that my horoscope yesterday said, “it matters less and less to you what people think. you will continue to expand your sense of who you are and what you are capable of doing.” and apparently i am a seafaring lesbian.

so we will start in florida and go to the honduras, mexico, belize. this shit is really blowing my mind. i have travelled but have never needed a passport for it..oh, i should get one of those….i am going to be riding atvs, diving off of cliffs, snorkeling. all the while, writing stories in my head. there will be no hiding, there will be no no’s. it will be yes, of course i will jump off that cliff, pet that shark, play “wet and wacky pool games.” i put that in quotes because it is from the website. oh, i love a wacky pool game.

i will be the only single going on the trip out of my travel partners. i am assuming i will still be single in a year. although my therapist has not put an end date on this imposed celibacy, i am pretty sure i will ring in 2012 single style as well.

because i will be single, i will have a solos coordinator. that’s hot, right? my own private pimp. i have to check in at the solos desk when i arrive and get tagged. seriously, i get a solos tag. what will that look like? will it have all of the stuff on it that i will do so that the right singles approach me? like, 40 year old lesbian who loves 69 (i really don’t–someone is always unsatisfied in that scenario), strap ons and tossing salads? they will give me a special schedule for the week that the other girls won’t get, secret single society.

i laughed out loud when i was reading the solo stuff on the website. it ends with, “and you may be interested to know that as the week goes by the number of solos does indeed dwindle…..” the fucking love boat. i started singing the theme song in my head. awesome.

so, i still have 2011 to get a handle on but it looks like 2012 is going to start off with a bang (or two).
i will take the offered dance lessons and i might even wear charo’s outfit.