thelesbianlifestyle.com

I am a lot of things to a lot of different people. I’m a mother and a lover and a daughter and a sister. I’m a friend, a co-worker, an acquaintance, and a stranger passing by. I’m an athlete and a computer geek, I’m an avid reader and I’m a pot of coffee a day kind of girl. I’m a red wine and Jazz and a dark beer and guitars by a campfire kind of chick; I’m an always outside, sunset fanatic. I’m also gay. I have found myself in a situation where the only one of all of those things that seems to matter to some people is the latter. That makes me feel unfairly labeled and really pissed off. Don’t get me wrong, I’m honest and true to myself and I love, truly love, my self-acceptance of who I am and what I stand for. I’m happy like I never knew I could be, and I’m so proud of my place in this life that sometimes I want to yell from the rooftops how proud and gay I am. But, I’m also upset. For someone to look at me and my not at all rooftop yelling relationship with the most sincere, genuine, compassionate and loving person I’ve ever known and just because we both happen to be women suddenly discredit me for all the other things that I am, well, that’s just wrong.

I have always put my children first, as any mother would. They are thriving and happy and many steps further down their paths towards a lifetime of greatness and stability than they ever were before when Mom was tucked away in the closet of silence and untruths. My love for my children and the way that I raise them hasn’t changed at all. Admittedly, though, there are two big things that have changed for them. They are now being raised in a loving home and are surrounded by wholesome things; dinners together as a family, vacations and weekend trips with grandparents and cousins. They see love and contentment and a life that works with ease because it’s simply what is right. And, the other thing that has changed for them is that their world has been enhanced exponentially by this person that loves them and wants to help me shape them into the best men they can be one day. She cherishes her time with them, and plays and reads stories and folds all their little shirts and socks and helps me tend to their every need. She is the best thing that has ever happened to them. And, that’s not just because I love her and thing she extraordinary, though she is. Everyone that has spent even an hour with the boys in the last months will immediately attest to their happiness and affection and joyful contentment. How dare anyone look at us, at the 4 of us, as we walk through this life together building each other up, and being the best versions of ourselves that we can be and try to say that none of this is true, or the boys are being harmed, or we are all discredited because I’m gay.

How can the gender of the person I love be the one thing that people see first, before and above all the greatness that our togetherness brings? To us, to the kids, to our extended families and our friends, how is the fact that we’re both women the paramount issue here?

How do we live in a place that still judges two people based not upon the roles they play in making this world a better place, not by the positive ways in which we are shaping our future through our children, not because of the pleasant content happy looks that grace our faces every single day – but instead judge us because of the gender of the person we love. Isn’t it the greatest gift of all to find your partner in this life, no matter their gender, and traverse this great planet of ours hand in hand with your best friend, your love, your eternal counterpart that enhances every great thing about you and helps you overcome the not so great aspects? How could anyone, any living breathing human being feel any negativity in that?

I don’t necessarily feel the need to walk through the days with “queer” stamped on my forehead, but my life is too great and too positive to feel like I have to hide it either. And, damn those that want to quietly stamp it on my back and judge me because of it. I am who I am, I’m a good person – I’m a human being whose life isn’t that different than anyone else’s except that I’m happier than anyone I know. I’m just tired of not being given the same respect and opportunity as anyone else. Why shouldn’t I be able to talk about my partner by name in mixed company with nothing held back? If it were a man no one would care. Why can’t I marry the love of my life? If she weren’t a woman I could in a heartbeat. Why am I about to sit on the stand in a custody battle solely because I’m gay? WHY? One day the word equality may actually mean something, and maybe one day the labels will fade away. I’m willing and eager to fight for what’s right for me and for my family, and I will never cower away from the truth that my life is finally abundantly full of. I just wish I could scream a few things out over a loud speaker somewhere….I’m decent person, a strong woman, I have character and morals and values, and my life is full of smiles and humor and is overwhelmingly joyous. Why does anyone need to know anything more than those things to formulate opinions of me?

Sent in by: VLC
Age: 30
Location: Atlanta