2011
I’m really not sure..
when I was in the first grade my next door neighbor and I would play house, I always played the husband, never the wife or the dog or the bestfriend… and we kissed and touched one another and we continued these acts of lesbian expression until we were in the 4th grade when I moved away. I still see her & she has a baby now and neither of us EVER talk about what went on those years.
Im also with a man… in a very committed relationship but i find myself not feeling fullfilled. I’m frustrated and i feel trapped almost. I always dreamed of just moving away in a dorm with my bestfriend and living my life with her.. but i went along with the crowd and got a boyfriend and moved in with him and started our life together.
I cant help but feel like I am pretending to be something that i’m not. I always feel masculine, and whenever i walk into a room i flirt with every single woman in the room.
I’m attracted to androgynous people such as THE Kate Moennig & Steven Tyler… those kind of extremes are what really attracts me. I dont know weather i’m just trying to feel something or if its real… but i know that I could have a relationship with a woman, i’ve never done anything sexual with a girl besides that time when i was in elementary school.
I know that every time in highschool when a drunk girl made out with me I always wanted to slip my hand down her panties.. I guess in this story submission i’ve answered my very own question. those who read this is you could email me i would appreciate all the support i can get. I’m lost in this place, I have no friend that i could confide in with this.. i know no lesbian or gay people. But i feel it would be better to be true to myself then to continue playing this role that i dont fit in.
Sent in by: blakelee
Email Blakelee
Age: 20
Location: TX
