2011
Do I love her or do I love what I want her to be?
When people look at me and my girlfriend this is what they think, I am the somewhat femme girl who thinks she is tough but is just a girl inside and my girlfriend is this strong hard core butch. Reality?
Yes my girlfriend wears men’s clothes, has a shaved head, always wears a ball cap, has tattoos on her arm, and is sometimes mistaken for a boy, but let’s be real. She loves to shop, she is very sensitive, has the motherly instinct, doesn’t like to pick up a hammer and fix things, and is not overly aggressive at all. She is so scared or maybe nervous is better word about what other people think (even though she doesn’t think she cares) trying to get her to go out and meet new people is always a task because she gets so nervous. She lacks confidence in herself, and that drives me crazy because she is so talented and has so much to offer this world!
And then there is me. I would make a great father.. haha, that maternal instinct thing must have skipped me. I don’t mind getting dirty to fix something, I hate shopping, I love to play sports, and am very aggressive. (I like to be in control!) I don’t care what other people think about me, I don’t change my actions based on what someone might say, I talk to strangers just to talk to them (usually followed by her telling me to be quiet, seriously?) and I am very confident in myself.
We are very opposite, which I don’t believe is a bad thing. I know she loves me and I definitely love her, and we see our future together, however sometimes I wonder if I can really be with the person who doesn’t seem to have confidence in herself, isn’t at all aggressive, and cares so much about what other people think. I want to live my life, I want to act like an idiot sometimes, I want to go meet new people and not worry about if she is going to back out five minutes before we are leaving, I do everything with her even if I really don’t feel like it because that is what you do when you love someone, but she doesn’t do the same for me.
Do I love her or do I love what I want her to be?
Sent in by: Anonymous
Age: 30
Location: New England
Give you girlfriend a chance. Maybe she’s never been with someone who has made her feel confident about herself. Since you are a strong person you are the perfect person to make her feel good about herself and push her to be her best. That was the case with me and my girlfriend. Give her a chance to become her best self. Good luck and enjoy the ride!
sometimes we love the potential we see in a person, sometimes it’s just the person. I recently went through a situation where i though i could possibly be in love with this girl, but when i thought of the person i was with, i could never leave them. even the thought hurt too much. that’s how i realized that i didn’t love this other girl, i thought i loved the person she could be, not the person she was. think about your life without your girl in it. does the thought of not having her around make your heart hurt? that’s how i knew i could never leave the person i was with even thinking about it made my heart hurt so much i couldn’t stand it. that’s how you know.