Jen

Her Stats

Name: Jen
Wordpress login: Jen
Age: 32
Location: Arizona
Relationship status: Technically/legally married to an incredible man, emotionally/completely head over heels for an amazing woman.
Favorite color: Red
Favorite song/band: Ani Difranco, Joss Stone, Alix Olson, Annie Lennox, Natalie Merchant, Sarah Mclachlan, Brandi Carlile, Coyote Grace, Joni Mitchell, Janis Joplin, Peter Paul and Mary, The Beatles, Dave Matthews, Tragically Hip, Dixie Chicks, Eva Cassidy, Great Big Sea, Melissa Etheridge, Tegan & Sara, Jack Johnson, Jenny Owen Youngs, Paul Simon, Bob Marley, U2, Missy Higgins, Imogen Heap, Melissa Ferrick, The Waifs, Edie Carey,

Her Bio

Flaky. Type A. Selfish. Enthusiastic. Canadian. Femme. Future Rock Star. Tenacious. Acne-Prone. Sleep Deprived. Shameless Flirt. Homebirther. Photographer. 5’ 5”. Wish I Were Taller. Book Worm. Preacher’s Daughter. Lack Domestic Skills. Libra. Wishy-Washy. Extrovert. Whiner. Gregarious. Nosy. Persistent. Paranoid. Non-Profit Director. Creative. Always Thirsty. Delusions Of Grandeur. 32. Attachment Parent. Good Girl. Eternal Optimist. Touchy-Feely. Scientist. Debater. Articulate. Internet Addict. Sloppy Perfectionist. Tattooed. Accident Prone. Cheap Drunk. Idealist. Morning Person. Prone To Infatuation. Fidgety.
 

The Interview

When did you come out?
August 2007

What made you want to become a TLL author?
Shortly after starting my own blog I came across TLL and was excited to become a part of a community of women from across the world, with different stories and backgrounds, all joined by one common thread. Not only did TLL enable me to share my own story with a wider audience, but it also provided a means to connect with the stories of other talented, brave and wonderful women.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?
This question would have been easy for me to answer last year – now, so much of my life has changed that it is hard for me to even fathom what the next year will look like, let alone where I will be a decade down the road. The process of coming out, of stepping into the light and speaking my truth has been so empowering, so liberating, so far beyond what I could have imagined that I can only hope I continue to grow as a person, finding fulfillment, love and happiness along the way.

Who do you most admire and why?
Anyone who takes risks, who is willing to stretch themselves outside their comfort zone, those who live fully and completely even when it involves the potential for loss, individuals who strive to live from a place of gratitude and an awareness of abundance, people who are willing to live their truths and who extend themselves without reservation to help others do the same.

If you could live anywhere where would it be?
By the ocean, any ocean, in a perfectly sized (not too big, not too small) cottage with lots of wood, streams of beautiful natural light and just enough cozy dark corners. Lulled to sleep by the pounding of the surf in the arms of the woman I love, and waking to walk on the shore, camera in hand and heart full of the goodness of life.

Your idea of the perfect woman would be?
An anchor in the wildest storm. As goofy and geeky as she is refined and sophisticated. Intelligent and articulate. Fierce, Edgy, Real. Creative. Profound. Sincere. Happy having wild and crazy adventures and sitting at home doing nothing at all. Will hold me when I cry without needing to ask why. Notices the little things. Writes love notes for no apparent reason. Pays attention to the needs of those around her. Kind and generous, silly and ridiculous. Soft and strong.

(…and it just so happens that I think I might have met her recently - I’ll keep you posted…)

Tell us a bit about your personal blog
Awakenings began with my need to share my experiences as a formerly heterosexual-identified married mother just beginning to accept my own sexuality and finding the courage to begin coming out to family and friends.

Before I began this journey I searched the internet for stories like mine – stories of married women with children who left their marriages to be true to themselves. I was frustrated by my inability to find my situation represented so minimally and felt very isolated. Having already written online for several years, it was a natural decision for me to start a blog to share my story, in hopes that it would reach other women in similar situations and perhaps give them some measure of connection and comfort. It quickly became a sanctuary for me to express my most raw emotions, providing both therapy and connection – and has continued to be an important outlet as I continue to navigate my journey into my new life.

Things people probably wouldn’t guess about you.
• I find doing laundry to be an incredibly Zen experience.
• I spent most of my life dealing with extreme insecurity and body image issues.
• I watch no television but spend far too much time on the internet.
• I only like to sleep on white bedding: white sheets, white duvet/cover, white pillowcases. I wash them constantly to keep them clean (see Zen laundry comment above).
• I still think I’m gonna be famous one day. I’m just not sure what I’m gonna be famous for. I’ll let you all know when I figure it out.

What gives you inspiration?
The Sound Of The Rain. Light And Shadow. The Photography of Ruth Bernhard, Edward Weston, Jesh de Rox, Sally Mann, Myla Kent, Lara Jade. Words. Reflections. People With Soul. Reality. Fantasy. Friendship. Hard Edges And Soft Corners. Universal Energy. Going Outside My Comfort Zone. Sex. The Beat Of The Music. Solitude. Paradox. Crashing Waves. The Creative Process. Rusty Metal and Cracked Cement. Stretching To My Limits And Beyond. Poetry and Prose. Color. Laughter. The Smell Of Cut Grass. Dancing With Utter And Complete Abandon. Eye Contact. Rawness. People Who Convince Me To Lose My Inhibitions. You.

What is your view on the legalization of gay marriage?
I wrote on my own blog about this topic several months ago – and there is no way I could articulate my feelings here any better than I already have, so I will share a quote from that entry and link to the post.

“It doesn’t matter if I decide I don’t believe in the concept of marriage as currently sanctioned by government and religion. It does not matter if I choose never to be married again. It doesn’t matter what your Bible says, or what you think is immoral or what makes you uncomfortable. If you take a group of people and tell them that they are not able to participate in society EXACTLY the same as the rest - that you want to withhold from them certain privileges available to most - then you are practicing discrimination. End of story. There is no rationalization, no argument, no way to validate inequality that does not come back to prejudice, to self-righteous judgment and to narrow-mindedness. None.”

http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/12/03/equality/

What would your advice be to a young girl just discovering she may be gay?
I would listen to her story, find out what she needs, what she fears, what she dreams of. I would encourage her to listen to hear heart and to surround herself with good people so she has support to help find the courage for the potentially difficult moments that may lie ahead. Beyond sharing any specifics of my own experience which may prove helpful, or pledging myself to be her ally during her journey, my advice to her would differ little from the advice I would give any young girl in the process of growing her own wings and getting ready to jump headfirst into her own life….