thelesbianlifestyle.com

Can a Lesbian and a Bisexual Woman Have a Good Long-Term Relationship?

goldstardyke — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 19:14:10 +0000

Hot:

The easiest answer to this question is “Yes.” And yes, there are probably going to be some complications along the way, but isn’t this the same in just about every relationship – lesbian or heterosexual? All relationships have their little ups and downs, and complications arise all the time, no matter who you are.

If you are a lesbian and are finding yourself falling in love with a bisexual woman, her attraction to men could become a complication. Be sure to keep an open line of communication in case she needs to discuss with you any changing feelings she may be having in regard to her sexuality, as there may come a time when she decides she is not getting what she needs from being in a lesbian relationship, and may want to try dating men again. Openly discussing such feelings before it’s too late may help strengthen your relationship.

Of course, even if she is deeply in love with you, she is always going to be attracted to men, and you need to accept this. It is only natural to be attracted to other people when you are in a relationship, and the same goes for you as well. You are going to be attracted to other women. For both of you, the key is simply not to act on this attraction.

There are going to be other complications as well. For instance, many of her friends and family members will probably question her decision to date you, especially if she has never been involved with another woman. The two of you will have to deal with this together and let everyone know that you are in love and serious about your relationship and your commitment to each other.

As long as you are both in love, you are going to be able to build a good, long-term relationship that will fulfill both of you. Yes, she may be bisexual, but if she truly wants to be with you, heart and soul, you need to trust the fact that she loves you and isn’t going to leave you for a man as if you were just an “experiment”. Bisexual or not, true love is a bond that simply cannot be broken.

–Written by Kaylee Larson, owner of LesbianLoveNow.com. Kaylee’s site features dating, romance, and issue-related videos for lesbians, along with numerous on-topic articles.

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TLL Q & A Advice Panel Installment #59

goldstardyke — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:19:05 +0000

Hot:

Name: Cassie Lawhon
Age: 23
Location: West Virginia

Question: My girlfriend and I are getting legally married in August, but I’m having problems with dealing with her ex- husband. They have 3 kids together who are ages 17, 18, 21. When we are with the kids they know that we are together but when the ex is around they always talk about family things and things that the family did when they were married and I’m never acknowledged as the girlfriend to the ex-husband. I’m not sure what to think about this and if I should bring it up. I want to be with her but I can’t be the outcast when he is around.

Read the TLL Advice Panelists answers after the jump…

Lori Hahn

Dear Cassie,

Before you get married, you need to settle this issue with your girlfriend. She must acknowledge you and you must accept that she had a long life before you and their shared conversation will naturally include that as now there are no more stories to gather as a family unit – it’s all that is left of it. She can be more sensitive to you however, even in that regard. But, don’t get married until it’s resolved, because it will fester with you.

Good luck!

Lori
Hahn at Home

Shanna Katz

Cassie -

That’s always a difficult situation, for people of any gender/orientation, with or without kids. It’s hard to not play the comparison game with exs, or even be jealous. And it’s normal and ok.

That said, if you feel like it is affecting you and/or your relationship, then the best thing you can do is talk about it. Don’t be accusatory, or angry, but let your partner know that you’re feeling left out at certain times, and maybe provide her with possible solutions so that you two can figure out a way to make it work. If you approach it with anger, it’s likely she too will get angry and it could cause issues. However, if you talk about it like to loving adults, which you are, you might bring something to her attention which she hadn’t noticed before. Communication is always the answer.

Best of luck,

Shanna
www.shannakatz.com

Dharma Kelleher

Dear Cassie,

Talk to your girlfriend about your concerns. Share you feelings in a non-accusatory way (e.g. “I felt belittled when such-and-such happened.”) It appears that your girlfriend and her ex-husband are many years older than you are. That might be playing into it as well. Or it might. But have an open discussion with your girlfriend about it.

Peace out,
Dharma Kelleher
http://www.dharmakelleher.com/

Tina-cious

Hi Cassie,

Who isn’t acknowledging you? The kids or your fiancée? If it’s your fiancée, you need to talk to her… tell her how it makes you feel. It’s the only way to stop it.

If it’s the kids… well, that’s a bigger problem. You don’t want to force them to do/say anything because that may put a wedge between you. Maybe you can bring up your own stories? Interject yourself into the conversation and don’t just sit back and be the 6th wheel (Ok, I get that 6 wheels would actually work, but let’s just go with that).

I’m curious, I see that you are only 2 years older than your oldest step-child. How’s that working out?

Good luck!

Tina-cious

Kelly Leszczynski

Issues like this tend to fester into deal breakers. You have to talk this out with your girlfriend before you get married. The talk of the past will always be there. No many kids want their parents to get divorced and talking about what used to be may console them in some way.

Perhaps it will just be a matter of time. Adjustment periods are always hard to get through. It’s up to you to share your feelings with your girlfriend and make sure you can come to a happy medium.

Kelly
Brain Clouds

Do you have advice you would like to give? Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

Do you have a question you would like to pose to The Lesbian Lifestyle Advice Panelists? Find out more about the panelists and submit your question here.

* Please note that this advice should by no means be used as an actual diagnosis or therapy session. All of the panelists will be giving you their views from their own life experiences. If you have any further inquires please send them here.

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TLL Adult Review: Billy Castro Does The Mission

Carnivalesq — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:40:46 +0000

Hot:

I’m here today to tell you all that I can tell you about Billy Castro Does The Mission without distracting you from the review. This means I won’t be able to share my honest opinions with you about some things because apparently honest opinions about a product or film are not the stuff of reviews, but in fact the stuff of distractions.

So! Billy Castro Does The Mission is a porno.

It has five scenes.

Scene One:

Billy Castro masturbates alone in a weight room. I have no opinions about masturbation scenes. Billy gets a phone call inviting him to go see a movie. Billy puts on pants and leaves.

Scene Two:

Dylan Ryan steals Billy’s bike and leaves a ransom note. Billy follows Dylan to a strange place and finds her in a hot tub. Billy and Dylan have sex in the hot tub in many positions. Dylan gives Billy a blowjob. Billy uses his fingers, his mouth and his strap on dildo with Dylan. The sex is often rough and there is slapping. Dylan has an orgasm(s).

Scene Three:

Jiz Lee is playing video games. Billy visits Jiz. They play video games. Jiz wins. Billy wrestles with Jiz. They have sex. Billy is energetic with positions. Jiz squirts a lot. The sex is often rough. They are very active and assume many positions. This scene could have been longer.

Scene Four:

Akira Raine is near a U-Haul trying to put a mattress inside. Billy sees Akira and offers to help with the mattress. Billy and Akira take the mattress inside the U-Haul and fuck on it.

Scene Five:

Lorelei Lee is Billy’s girlfriend. Billy comes home. Lorelei has been worried, and is angry at Billy when he cannot explain where he has been. Lorelei punishes Billy. They have sex.

Conclusion:

Some scenes aroused me. Other scenes did not. I would tell you why, but I don’t want to distract anyone from the porn review with my thoughts and reactions to a porn performance. As a matter of fact, I have no opinions about any particular scene in comparison to any other scene. I have no opinions about the interaction of Billy with any other performer. I have no opinions regarding anyone’s actions or the sounds they make or the things they say. To voice an opinion about any performer’s sexual activities in a porn movie might seem overly biased or rude.

So, there you have it! Billy Castro Does The Mission. Available from Good Vibes. You can see the trailer here. The only opinion I will share with you guys is that if you like rough sex, strap on’s, fingering, oral, some slapping, squirting, queerness, hotties, and dirty talk then you’ll find something you like in Billy Castro Does The Mission. Because queer porn is amazing and should never be questioned or criticized. The simple fact that it exists should be enough for anyone.Similar Posts:

TLL Q & A Advice Panel Installment #58

goldstardyke — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:18:55 +0000

Hot:

Name: Anonymous
Age: 22
Location: N/A

Question: How, as a straight women can I express my interests to a lesbian? I do have a boyfriend.

Read the TLL Advice Panelists answers after the jump…

Lori Hahn

Dear Anonymous,
You chose not to share part of your story, but the answer lies within that information. My guess would be that since you are already involved elsewhere, she’s cooled off. Momma always told me to finish what I start. Start there. If you want to pursue elsewhere, you have to be brave enough to let go of what you have. It might pan out after that and it might not. It’s a risk you have to decide to take. We all start somewhere. Good luck!
Lori
Hahn at Home

Shanna Katz

Out of the office

Shanna
www.shannakatz.com

Dharma Kelleher

Dear Anonymous,

It’s not uncommon at your age to have unexplored sexual attractions (such as being a lesbian or bisexual). That said, if you have a satisfying relationship with your boyfriend, why wreck a good thing? However, if your attraction to women or even a particular woman becomes an itch that you just have to scratch, end the relationship with your boyfriend. Don’t go messin’ around on him, whether it’s with a girl or a guy. Cheating isn’t cool.

If you do end the relationship with your boyfriend and find yourself attracted to a woman, get to know her first as a friend. See if the two of you have emotional and sexual chemistry. Be open and honest about who you are. Have fun and be safe!

Peace out,
Dharma Kelleher
http://www.dharmakelleher.com/

Tina-cious

Hi,

I think first and foremost, let’s address the fact that you have labeled yourself as “straight”. Straight women, by definition, aren’t attracted to other women. So, that brings me to my next question:

Are you truly interested in this woman because you think you may be bi or bi-curious? Or are you interested in this woman because you are bored with your boyfriend and she showed some sign of interest that may or may not have been your imagination?

I’m not asking that to be mean… however, I’ve seen wayyyyy too many of my lesbian sisters get their hearts ripped out by bored housewives who thought “hey, I think I’lll fuck a woman since my man is not paying enough attention/screwing me right/etc.”

I think before you do/say anything to her in an effort to explore some sort of intimate relationship, you need to first figure yourself out. Not to mention, if you have a boyfriend, what’s your plan for him? Do you plan to break up with him? Invite him to join? Cheat on him? What?

I’m not judging here… I’m just saying there’s more to this particular situation than just how to get her to know you’re attracted to her.

Maybe she’d be up for no-strings-attached sex… you never know… maybe in some random conversation you can bring up one-night-stands and see how she feels about them… but, honestly, I would strongly suggest you don’t start something you can’t finish.

Tina-cious

Kelly Leszczynski

Break up with your boyfriend. Then peruse her like you would anyone else. Get to know her, ask her out, tell her about your feelings. Most importantly, be honest with yourself and those you care about.

Kelly
Brain Clouds

Do you have advice you would like to give? Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

Do you have a question you would like to pose to The Lesbian Lifestyle Advice Panelists? Find out more about the panelists and submit your question here.

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Sappho Speaks: Alice, You’ve Really Stepped In It Now!!!

Sappho — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:21:48 +0000

Hot:

What Would Sappho Say?

Lectori Salutem! or L.S. (Greetings to the Reader!)

With the Royal premiere of Alice in Wonderland this past week I thought I’d bring her into the mix for what I’m sure will bring some jeers from the peanut gallery. And as Alice blindly and without much forethought ran down the rabbit hole into Wonderland (or was it?) so do children born of their parents follow them into the family’s religious fold. It is a predestined plan, one the child has no control over and once indoctrinated will fight to the death for those beliefs as strongly as their parents before them. Religion is really a geography problem easily solved with money when you get right down to it.

If we could wrangle up the low income expectant mothers and offer them relocation, a stipend to raise their child Catholic, and be attached to a certain parish for looking after during the child’s life…… Oh yeah, they already do that. It’s called missionaries. The stipends can be food and better shelter or any other basis need but in return the families are expected to dedicate their lives to Christ.

What of the other religions? Those innocents born from a womb are simply indoctrinated into Islam, Judaism, or whatever the majority of you think is so wrong the same way Christians do it to their own. What part is the evil plan. Where is the devil whispering in someone’s ear when the word hell is only mentioned four times in the New Testament (duplicated in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) especially when the word was translated from the original text it was not the word “hell” that was being said but the “Jerusalem Dump”, surely a hell on earth. Over translations “hell” was substituted in at someone’s discretion as it has been done so many times over 2000 years.

So as Alice was predestined to fall down the rabbit hole and meet the Mad Hatter, the White and Red Queens, so are the majority of us predestined to our religious beliefs. I find that quite disconcerting. The “if onlys” that would alter your whole faith because it is not based on something you constructed but a gift of birth was enough to drive this woman crazy in my younger years of self-discovery and I still am asking the questions that have no easy answer.

I was adopted and landed my first day of life in the arms of my mother and father who raised me for my entire life. You could say I was a gift or vice versa but the “what ifs” have driven me a bit batty at certain times in my life and since possible answers are out there I have recently decided I do not accept not knowing. Don’t worry gentle readers, you will go on that journey with me as well. Anyways, I have an allegory to being born into religion and complete acceptance, that blind faith, that so many in the religious community have, they cling to it like a safety blanket and throughout time have punished with vengeance those who have tried to take that blanket away and challenge their point of view.

My ancestors, those who challenge the dogma of Christianity, were burned at the stake, drowned, beheaded, sold into galley slavery, shot, gassed, forced to leave their homes, their books burned, their public voices silenced.

All this because some believed in the goodness of humanity on it’s own merits instead of in a Godly universe; in the goodness of human beings; in their possibilities; in human capacity for progress; in the promise and necessity for human freedom.

By believing in all of this we were seen as stripping away the security blanket of the Western World that held that man was steeped in sin, depraved, and helpless and could only be redeemed by pledging alliance to a god-man Jesus Christ.

Again I refer to Alice who said to the Red Queen, “There’s no use trying, one can’t believe in impossible things.” And the Queen replied, “I daresay you haven’t had much practice. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”.

And that is what the religious do, right? That is what other faiths think about or what each one of you says about the other faiths: ones who believe in impossible things – like a first century rabbi walking on water and rising from the tomb; impossible things like Buddhist-style reincarnation; animating spirits in all objects; the cyclical nature of time; Joseph Smith receiving golden plates from an angel; the host of the Eucharistic Feast turned into the actual body and blood of Christ; eternity in paradise, a bevy of beautiful virgins for suicide bombers, a violence free society where everyone has a gun and so many more…

It’s not just the Queen in Wonderland but all of us that believe in six impossible things before breakfast.

1. In the face of 9/11, Pearl Harbor, The Holocaust, Nagasaki, and Hiroshima, we still believe in the goodness of humanity.

2. In certain face of global warming and severe climate change, we believe in the progress of humanity.

3. When science gives us technology that isolates us from real life, numbs our minds and dumbs down our culture, we still believe in science.

4. When our free church tradition gives us congregations that fuss and feud, lose trust and brutalize one another, we still believe in congregations.

5. In the face of overwhelming evidence of the capacity of humans for all manner of evil, meanness, selfishness, violence, and divisiveness—we still believe in a brighter future brought about by the free agency of human beings.

We might as well fess up and put a sign out front: “Only fools believe in the creative power of free human beings to do good in the world.”

So when you really look into a person you will almost always find faith in something – believing a few impossible things. Those should be the things that bind us together in this human condition as it is in humankind here on this earth where our greatest work is yet to be done whether you believe you journey ends in this place or goes on to the next.

Much Love.

Inspired By Sappho’s Muse

QUOTES OF THE DAY
What if I should fall right through the center of the earth… oh, and come out the other side, where people walk upside down.
Alice, from Alice In Wonderland

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
Friedrich NietzscheSimilar Posts: