The first party we went to Kathy tried to get me in a bathroom alone at ever turn to make out or worse, and I was not well for it. My worlds we separate in my mind. She could come but I did not want to take any chance on someone seeing a touch or a glance that would reveal our secret. We talked. She reluctantly agreed but things did not get any better. She seemed to be bolder and bolder as if she now wanted people to know about us.
We ended with me figuring out that was exactly what I was. Gay.
Even so, I was not ready for the world to know and the woman I had picked to lead me through the murky waters of homosexuality had a true reputation for being bisexual that she was proud not to discredit. She assured me she would keep us a secret and going back to school after that last bit of summer, kissing and talking, learning about myself and my feelings, it had been a different world than what I was walking back into a school.
I’ll start my journey off when my sexuality reared its head and wanted to be heard in the 10th grade. Like so many of us, I had crushes on friends, teachers, I even had the Farrah Fawcett swimsuit poster on my wall at age 10 (GET A CLUE MOM) but nothing had really happened other than a few childhood kisses here and there that I’m pretty sure more than us gay women have.
